“Me and my wife” or “my wife and me”
11
Which is correct: me and my wife or my wife and me? The sentence in which this is used is
Ms. Smith informed me and my wife that she was afraid of being accosted.
pronouns word-order conjunctions personal-pronouns
edited Mar 13 '18 at 18:41
sumelic
46.9k8111215
asked Nov 15 '11 at 15:42
Paula GiacintoPaula Giacinto
56113
add a comment |
11
Which is correct: me and my wife or my wife and me? The sentence in which this is used is
Ms. Smith informed me and my wife that she was afraid of being accosted.
pronouns word-order conjunctions personal-pronouns
edited Mar 13 '18 at 18:41
sumelic
46.9k8111215
asked Nov 15 '11 at 15:42
Paula GiacintoPaula Giacinto
56113
add a comment |
11
11
11
2
Which is correct: me and my wife or my wife and me? The sentence in which this is used is
Ms. Smith informed me and my wife that she was afraid of being accosted.
pronouns word-order conjunctions personal-pronouns
edited Mar 13 '18 at 18:41
sumelic
46.9k8111215
asked Nov 15 '11 at 15:42
Paula GiacintoPaula Giacinto
56113
Which is correct: me and my wife or my wife and me? The sentence in which this is used is
Ms. Smith informed me and my wife that she was afraid of being accosted.
pronouns word-order conjunctions personal-pronouns
pronouns word-order conjunctions personal-pronouns
edited Mar 13 '18 at 18:41
sumelic
46.9k8111215
asked Nov 15 '11 at 15:42
Paula GiacintoPaula Giacinto
56113
edited Mar 13 '18 at 18:41
sumelic
46.9k8111215
asked Nov 15 '11 at 15:42
Paula GiacintoPaula Giacinto
56113
edited Mar 13 '18 at 18:41
sumelic
46.9k8111215
edited Mar 13 '18 at 18:41
sumelic
46.9k8111215
edited Mar 13 '18 at 18:41
sumelic
46.9k8111215
46.9k8111215
asked Nov 15 '11 at 15:42
Paula GiacintoPaula Giacinto
56113
asked Nov 15 '11 at 15:42
Paula GiacintoPaula Giacinto
56113
asked Nov 15 '11 at 15:42
Paula GiacintoPaula Giacinto
56113
56113
add a comment |
add a comment |
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
32
According to Grammar Girl, it's "a rule of politeness" to put yourself last in the list:
Ms. Smith informed my wife and me that...
General Writing and Grammar help concurs, but does not offer any additional authorities on the matter.
The Merriam-Webster Learner's Dictionary offers the same advice: third-person, then second-person, finally first-person pronouns for general usage; mixing up the order is not necessarily rude, but can serve to emphasize the role of the speaker in the action, or as a cue that the speaker is talking informally or is less-educated.
edited Mar 13 '18 at 18:34
Scott
6,60982850
answered Nov 15 '11 at 16:11
HellionHellion
53k13108196
This is a great find, upvoting.
– RiMMER
Nov 15 '11 at 16:22
6
And yet for this sentence, putting "me" second sounds rather awkward...
– Izkata
Nov 15 '11 at 20:39
1
The combination he informed my husband and me sounds awkward, but he informed me and my husband/wife and me and my girl/boyfriend/best friend flows better. Whereas the "rule" I believe applies to the subject order "My family/children/friends/ husband/boyfriend/best friend and I".
– Mari-Lou A
Dec 14 '14 at 18:47
1
@Mari-LouA, it may sound awkward to you, but it sounds correct to me. :-) (Two of the given references do explicitly mention examples using the objective case, although one agrees with you that it "sounds awkward" and you would probably be better off using plural pronouns if possible.)
– Hellion
Dec 14 '14 at 19:59
1
To me (and I assume you also were speaking subjectively), he informed my husband and me sounds far better than he informed me and my husband. With pauses (before and), either way round sounds fine.
– Edwin Ashworth
Dec 14 '14 at 23:23
|
show 4 more comments
4
Both are correct, you can use any of them. They don't even bear any difference. The same would apply to:
I and my wife were informed that ...
versus
My wife and I were informed that ...
answered Nov 15 '11 at 15:47
RiMMERRiMMER
18.9k1376104
4
@BarrieEngland: I don't think I agree with that. You're saying that "Ms. Smith informed I that ..." is correct. And it obviously isn't.
– RiMMER
Nov 15 '11 at 16:48
2
@RiMMER Ψ: ‘But why should we simply assume that the grammatical rules for case assignment cannot differentiate between a coordinated and a non-coordinated pronoun?’ (Huddleston and Pullum, ‘The Cambridge Grammar of the English Language’. Full text here on page 9: cambridge.org/assets/linguistics/cgel/chap1.pdf
– Barrie England
Nov 15 '11 at 17:08
4
@DavidSchwartz: but then you'd have no way to write the sentence at all. ("Me are pleased" wouldn't be any better.) The point is that this position in the sentence requires a subject ("I") rather than an object ("me").
– Alex
Nov 15 '11 at 17:57
4
"I" is used for a subject; "me" is used for an object. I am not aware of any grammar rule that says that making something plural changes it from a subject to an object or vice versa. "My wife and I am pleased" is incorrect because "my wife and I" is plural and thus calls for a plural verb. The fact that a singular verb does not go with a plural noun does not in any way negate the fact that the subjective case should be used for subjects and the objective case for objects.
– Jay
Nov 15 '11 at 19:45
3
@Paula Giacinto, feel free to ignore the comments here, and focus only on the actual answers given. :-)
– Hellion
Nov 15 '11 at 20:32
|
show 18 more comments
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
2 Answers
2
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
32
According to Grammar Girl, it's "a rule of politeness" to put yourself last in the list:
Ms. Smith informed my wife and me that...
General Writing and Grammar help concurs, but does not offer any additional authorities on the matter.
The Merriam-Webster Learner's Dictionary offers the same advice: third-person, then second-person, finally first-person pronouns for general usage; mixing up the order is not necessarily rude, but can serve to emphasize the role of the speaker in the action, or as a cue that the speaker is talking informally or is less-educated.
edited Mar 13 '18 at 18:34
Scott
6,60982850
answered Nov 15 '11 at 16:11
HellionHellion
53k13108196
This is a great find, upvoting.
– RiMMER
Nov 15 '11 at 16:22
6
And yet for this sentence, putting "me" second sounds rather awkward...
– Izkata
Nov 15 '11 at 20:39
1
The combination he informed my husband and me sounds awkward, but he informed me and my husband/wife and me and my girl/boyfriend/best friend flows better. Whereas the "rule" I believe applies to the subject order "My family/children/friends/ husband/boyfriend/best friend and I".
– Mari-Lou A
Dec 14 '14 at 18:47
1
@Mari-LouA, it may sound awkward to you, but it sounds correct to me. :-) (Two of the given references do explicitly mention examples using the objective case, although one agrees with you that it "sounds awkward" and you would probably be better off using plural pronouns if possible.)
– Hellion
Dec 14 '14 at 19:59
1
To me (and I assume you also were speaking subjectively), he informed my husband and me sounds far better than he informed me and my husband. With pauses (before and), either way round sounds fine.
– Edwin Ashworth
Dec 14 '14 at 23:23
|
show 4 more comments
32
According to Grammar Girl, it's "a rule of politeness" to put yourself last in the list:
Ms. Smith informed my wife and me that...
General Writing and Grammar help concurs, but does not offer any additional authorities on the matter.
The Merriam-Webster Learner's Dictionary offers the same advice: third-person, then second-person, finally first-person pronouns for general usage; mixing up the order is not necessarily rude, but can serve to emphasize the role of the speaker in the action, or as a cue that the speaker is talking informally or is less-educated.
edited Mar 13 '18 at 18:34
Scott
6,60982850
answered Nov 15 '11 at 16:11
HellionHellion
53k13108196
This is a great find, upvoting.
– RiMMER
Nov 15 '11 at 16:22
6
And yet for this sentence, putting "me" second sounds rather awkward...
– Izkata
Nov 15 '11 at 20:39
1
The combination he informed my husband and me sounds awkward, but he informed me and my husband/wife and me and my girl/boyfriend/best friend flows better. Whereas the "rule" I believe applies to the subject order "My family/children/friends/ husband/boyfriend/best friend and I".
– Mari-Lou A
Dec 14 '14 at 18:47
1
@Mari-LouA, it may sound awkward to you, but it sounds correct to me. :-) (Two of the given references do explicitly mention examples using the objective case, although one agrees with you that it "sounds awkward" and you would probably be better off using plural pronouns if possible.)
– Hellion
Dec 14 '14 at 19:59
1
To me (and I assume you also were speaking subjectively), he informed my husband and me sounds far better than he informed me and my husband. With pauses (before and), either way round sounds fine.
– Edwin Ashworth
Dec 14 '14 at 23:23
|
show 4 more comments
32
32
32
According to Grammar Girl, it's "a rule of politeness" to put yourself last in the list:
Ms. Smith informed my wife and me that...
General Writing and Grammar help concurs, but does not offer any additional authorities on the matter.
The Merriam-Webster Learner's Dictionary offers the same advice: third-person, then second-person, finally first-person pronouns for general usage; mixing up the order is not necessarily rude, but can serve to emphasize the role of the speaker in the action, or as a cue that the speaker is talking informally or is less-educated.
edited Mar 13 '18 at 18:34
Scott
6,60982850
answered Nov 15 '11 at 16:11
HellionHellion
53k13108196
According to Grammar Girl, it's "a rule of politeness" to put yourself last in the list:
Ms. Smith informed my wife and me that...
General Writing and Grammar help concurs, but does not offer any additional authorities on the matter.
The Merriam-Webster Learner's Dictionary offers the same advice: third-person, then second-person, finally first-person pronouns for general usage; mixing up the order is not necessarily rude, but can serve to emphasize the role of the speaker in the action, or as a cue that the speaker is talking informally or is less-educated.
edited Mar 13 '18 at 18:34
Scott
6,60982850
answered Nov 15 '11 at 16:11
HellionHellion
53k13108196
edited Mar 13 '18 at 18:34
Scott
6,60982850
edited Mar 13 '18 at 18:34
Scott
6,60982850
edited Mar 13 '18 at 18:34
Scott
6,60982850
6,60982850
answered Nov 15 '11 at 16:11
HellionHellion
53k13108196
answered Nov 15 '11 at 16:11
HellionHellion
53k13108196
answered Nov 15 '11 at 16:11
HellionHellion
53k13108196
53k13108196
This is a great find, upvoting.
– RiMMER
Nov 15 '11 at 16:22
6
And yet for this sentence, putting "me" second sounds rather awkward...
– Izkata
Nov 15 '11 at 20:39
1
The combination he informed my husband and me sounds awkward, but he informed me and my husband/wife and me and my girl/boyfriend/best friend flows better. Whereas the "rule" I believe applies to the subject order "My family/children/friends/ husband/boyfriend/best friend and I".
– Mari-Lou A
Dec 14 '14 at 18:47
1
@Mari-LouA, it may sound awkward to you, but it sounds correct to me. :-) (Two of the given references do explicitly mention examples using the objective case, although one agrees with you that it "sounds awkward" and you would probably be better off using plural pronouns if possible.)
– Hellion
Dec 14 '14 at 19:59
1
To me (and I assume you also were speaking subjectively), he informed my husband and me sounds far better than he informed me and my husband. With pauses (before and), either way round sounds fine.
– Edwin Ashworth
Dec 14 '14 at 23:23
|
show 4 more comments
This is a great find, upvoting.
– RiMMER
Nov 15 '11 at 16:22
6
And yet for this sentence, putting "me" second sounds rather awkward...
– Izkata
Nov 15 '11 at 20:39
1
The combination he informed my husband and me sounds awkward, but he informed me and my husband/wife and me and my girl/boyfriend/best friend flows better. Whereas the "rule" I believe applies to the subject order "My family/children/friends/ husband/boyfriend/best friend and I".
– Mari-Lou A
Dec 14 '14 at 18:47
1
@Mari-LouA, it may sound awkward to you, but it sounds correct to me. :-) (Two of the given references do explicitly mention examples using the objective case, although one agrees with you that it "sounds awkward" and you would probably be better off using plural pronouns if possible.)
– Hellion
Dec 14 '14 at 19:59
1
To me (and I assume you also were speaking subjectively), he informed my husband and me sounds far better than he informed me and my husband. With pauses (before and), either way round sounds fine.
– Edwin Ashworth
Dec 14 '14 at 23:23
This is a great find, upvoting.
– RiMMER
Nov 15 '11 at 16:22
This is a great find, upvoting.
– RiMMER
Nov 15 '11 at 16:22
6
6
And yet for this sentence, putting "me" second sounds rather awkward...
– Izkata
Nov 15 '11 at 20:39
And yet for this sentence, putting "me" second sounds rather awkward...
– Izkata
Nov 15 '11 at 20:39
1
1
The combination he informed my husband and me sounds awkward, but he informed me and my husband/wife and me and my girl/boyfriend/best friend flows better. Whereas the "rule" I believe applies to the subject order "My family/children/friends/ husband/boyfriend/best friend and I".
– Mari-Lou A
Dec 14 '14 at 18:47
The combination he informed my husband and me sounds awkward, but he informed me and my husband/wife and me and my girl/boyfriend/best friend flows better. Whereas the "rule" I believe applies to the subject order "My family/children/friends/ husband/boyfriend/best friend and I".
– Mari-Lou A
Dec 14 '14 at 18:47
1
1
@Mari-LouA, it may sound awkward to you, but it sounds correct to me. :-) (Two of the given references do explicitly mention examples using the objective case, although one agrees with you that it "sounds awkward" and you would probably be better off using plural pronouns if possible.)
– Hellion
Dec 14 '14 at 19:59
@Mari-LouA, it may sound awkward to you, but it sounds correct to me. :-) (Two of the given references do explicitly mention examples using the objective case, although one agrees with you that it "sounds awkward" and you would probably be better off using plural pronouns if possible.)
– Hellion
Dec 14 '14 at 19:59
1
1
To me (and I assume you also were speaking subjectively), he informed my husband and me sounds far better than he informed me and my husband. With pauses (before and), either way round sounds fine.
– Edwin Ashworth
Dec 14 '14 at 23:23
To me (and I assume you also were speaking subjectively), he informed my husband and me sounds far better than he informed me and my husband. With pauses (before and), either way round sounds fine.
– Edwin Ashworth
Dec 14 '14 at 23:23
|
show 4 more comments
4
Both are correct, you can use any of them. They don't even bear any difference. The same would apply to:
I and my wife were informed that ...
versus
My wife and I were informed that ...
answered Nov 15 '11 at 15:47
RiMMERRiMMER
18.9k1376104
4
@BarrieEngland: I don't think I agree with that. You're saying that "Ms. Smith informed I that ..." is correct. And it obviously isn't.
– RiMMER
Nov 15 '11 at 16:48
2
@RiMMER Ψ: ‘But why should we simply assume that the grammatical rules for case assignment cannot differentiate between a coordinated and a non-coordinated pronoun?’ (Huddleston and Pullum, ‘The Cambridge Grammar of the English Language’. Full text here on page 9: cambridge.org/assets/linguistics/cgel/chap1.pdf
– Barrie England
Nov 15 '11 at 17:08
4
@DavidSchwartz: but then you'd have no way to write the sentence at all. ("Me are pleased" wouldn't be any better.) The point is that this position in the sentence requires a subject ("I") rather than an object ("me").
– Alex
Nov 15 '11 at 17:57
4
"I" is used for a subject; "me" is used for an object. I am not aware of any grammar rule that says that making something plural changes it from a subject to an object or vice versa. "My wife and I am pleased" is incorrect because "my wife and I" is plural and thus calls for a plural verb. The fact that a singular verb does not go with a plural noun does not in any way negate the fact that the subjective case should be used for subjects and the objective case for objects.
– Jay
Nov 15 '11 at 19:45
3
@Paula Giacinto, feel free to ignore the comments here, and focus only on the actual answers given. :-)
– Hellion
Nov 15 '11 at 20:32
|
show 18 more comments
4
Both are correct, you can use any of them. They don't even bear any difference. The same would apply to:
I and my wife were informed that ...
versus
My wife and I were informed that ...
answered Nov 15 '11 at 15:47
RiMMERRiMMER
18.9k1376104
4
@BarrieEngland: I don't think I agree with that. You're saying that "Ms. Smith informed I that ..." is correct. And it obviously isn't.
– RiMMER
Nov 15 '11 at 16:48
2
@RiMMER Ψ: ‘But why should we simply assume that the grammatical rules for case assignment cannot differentiate between a coordinated and a non-coordinated pronoun?’ (Huddleston and Pullum, ‘The Cambridge Grammar of the English Language’. Full text here on page 9: cambridge.org/assets/linguistics/cgel/chap1.pdf
– Barrie England
Nov 15 '11 at 17:08
4
@DavidSchwartz: but then you'd have no way to write the sentence at all. ("Me are pleased" wouldn't be any better.) The point is that this position in the sentence requires a subject ("I") rather than an object ("me").
– Alex
Nov 15 '11 at 17:57
4
"I" is used for a subject; "me" is used for an object. I am not aware of any grammar rule that says that making something plural changes it from a subject to an object or vice versa. "My wife and I am pleased" is incorrect because "my wife and I" is plural and thus calls for a plural verb. The fact that a singular verb does not go with a plural noun does not in any way negate the fact that the subjective case should be used for subjects and the objective case for objects.
– Jay
Nov 15 '11 at 19:45
3
@Paula Giacinto, feel free to ignore the comments here, and focus only on the actual answers given. :-)
– Hellion
Nov 15 '11 at 20:32
|
show 18 more comments
4
4
4
Both are correct, you can use any of them. They don't even bear any difference. The same would apply to:
I and my wife were informed that ...
versus
My wife and I were informed that ...
answered Nov 15 '11 at 15:47
RiMMERRiMMER
18.9k1376104
Both are correct, you can use any of them. They don't even bear any difference. The same would apply to:
I and my wife were informed that ...
versus
My wife and I were informed that ...
answered Nov 15 '11 at 15:47
RiMMERRiMMER
18.9k1376104
answered Nov 15 '11 at 15:47
RiMMERRiMMER
18.9k1376104
answered Nov 15 '11 at 15:47
RiMMERRiMMER
18.9k1376104
answered Nov 15 '11 at 15:47
RiMMERRiMMER
18.9k1376104
18.9k1376104
4
@BarrieEngland: I don't think I agree with that. You're saying that "Ms. Smith informed I that ..." is correct. And it obviously isn't.
– RiMMER
Nov 15 '11 at 16:48
2
@RiMMER Ψ: ‘But why should we simply assume that the grammatical rules for case assignment cannot differentiate between a coordinated and a non-coordinated pronoun?’ (Huddleston and Pullum, ‘The Cambridge Grammar of the English Language’. Full text here on page 9: cambridge.org/assets/linguistics/cgel/chap1.pdf
– Barrie England
Nov 15 '11 at 17:08
4
@DavidSchwartz: but then you'd have no way to write the sentence at all. ("Me are pleased" wouldn't be any better.) The point is that this position in the sentence requires a subject ("I") rather than an object ("me").
– Alex
Nov 15 '11 at 17:57
4
"I" is used for a subject; "me" is used for an object. I am not aware of any grammar rule that says that making something plural changes it from a subject to an object or vice versa. "My wife and I am pleased" is incorrect because "my wife and I" is plural and thus calls for a plural verb. The fact that a singular verb does not go with a plural noun does not in any way negate the fact that the subjective case should be used for subjects and the objective case for objects.
– Jay
Nov 15 '11 at 19:45
3
@Paula Giacinto, feel free to ignore the comments here, and focus only on the actual answers given. :-)
– Hellion
Nov 15 '11 at 20:32
|
show 18 more comments
4
@BarrieEngland: I don't think I agree with that. You're saying that "Ms. Smith informed I that ..." is correct. And it obviously isn't.
– RiMMER
Nov 15 '11 at 16:48
2
@RiMMER Ψ: ‘But why should we simply assume that the grammatical rules for case assignment cannot differentiate between a coordinated and a non-coordinated pronoun?’ (Huddleston and Pullum, ‘The Cambridge Grammar of the English Language’. Full text here on page 9: cambridge.org/assets/linguistics/cgel/chap1.pdf
– Barrie England
Nov 15 '11 at 17:08
4
@DavidSchwartz: but then you'd have no way to write the sentence at all. ("Me are pleased" wouldn't be any better.) The point is that this position in the sentence requires a subject ("I") rather than an object ("me").
– Alex
Nov 15 '11 at 17:57
4
"I" is used for a subject; "me" is used for an object. I am not aware of any grammar rule that says that making something plural changes it from a subject to an object or vice versa. "My wife and I am pleased" is incorrect because "my wife and I" is plural and thus calls for a plural verb. The fact that a singular verb does not go with a plural noun does not in any way negate the fact that the subjective case should be used for subjects and the objective case for objects.
– Jay
Nov 15 '11 at 19:45
3
@Paula Giacinto, feel free to ignore the comments here, and focus only on the actual answers given. :-)
– Hellion
Nov 15 '11 at 20:32
4
4
@BarrieEngland: I don't think I agree with that. You're saying that "Ms. Smith informed I that ..." is correct. And it obviously isn't.
– RiMMER
Nov 15 '11 at 16:48
@BarrieEngland: I don't think I agree with that. You're saying that "Ms. Smith informed I that ..." is correct. And it obviously isn't.
– RiMMER
Nov 15 '11 at 16:48
2
2
@RiMMER Ψ: ‘But why should we simply assume that the grammatical rules for case assignment cannot differentiate between a coordinated and a non-coordinated pronoun?’ (Huddleston and Pullum, ‘The Cambridge Grammar of the English Language’. Full text here on page 9: cambridge.org/assets/linguistics/cgel/chap1.pdf
– Barrie England
Nov 15 '11 at 17:08
@RiMMER Ψ: ‘But why should we simply assume that the grammatical rules for case assignment cannot differentiate between a coordinated and a non-coordinated pronoun?’ (Huddleston and Pullum, ‘The Cambridge Grammar of the English Language’. Full text here on page 9: cambridge.org/assets/linguistics/cgel/chap1.pdf
– Barrie England
Nov 15 '11 at 17:08
4
4
@DavidSchwartz: but then you'd have no way to write the sentence at all. ("Me are pleased" wouldn't be any better.) The point is that this position in the sentence requires a subject ("I") rather than an object ("me").
– Alex
Nov 15 '11 at 17:57
@DavidSchwartz: but then you'd have no way to write the sentence at all. ("Me are pleased" wouldn't be any better.) The point is that this position in the sentence requires a subject ("I") rather than an object ("me").
– Alex
Nov 15 '11 at 17:57
4
4
"I" is used for a subject; "me" is used for an object. I am not aware of any grammar rule that says that making something plural changes it from a subject to an object or vice versa. "My wife and I am pleased" is incorrect because "my wife and I" is plural and thus calls for a plural verb. The fact that a singular verb does not go with a plural noun does not in any way negate the fact that the subjective case should be used for subjects and the objective case for objects.
– Jay
Nov 15 '11 at 19:45
"I" is used for a subject; "me" is used for an object. I am not aware of any grammar rule that says that making something plural changes it from a subject to an object or vice versa. "My wife and I am pleased" is incorrect because "my wife and I" is plural and thus calls for a plural verb. The fact that a singular verb does not go with a plural noun does not in any way negate the fact that the subjective case should be used for subjects and the objective case for objects.
– Jay
Nov 15 '11 at 19:45
3
3
@Paula Giacinto, feel free to ignore the comments here, and focus only on the actual answers given. :-)
– Hellion
Nov 15 '11 at 20:32
@Paula Giacinto, feel free to ignore the comments here, and focus only on the actual answers given. :-)
– Hellion
Nov 15 '11 at 20:32
|
show 18 more comments
