How to deal with an incendiary email that was recalled












19















I recently received a critical email from someone who works at a company I deal with. It made a number of broad and inaccurate criticisms of some work I'd done. Copying in several managers for good measure



After of read it I got a mail recall notice, saying that the sender was recalling the mail and to disregard it. I guess it was meant delete automatically but didn't as I'm on a different mail system.



A day later they have sent nothing else.



But how should I respond, I feel these criticisms are still hanging but have no idea who read the email and don't know how to respond appropriately.



Should I just ignore it?










share|improve this question

























  • So, you still have that email in your bin? Did the sender reached out to you in any other way after this incident? What is your relationship with the sender

    – DarkCygnus
    12 hours ago











  • It didn't delete for me so I still have it they have not reached out since. The sender is part of a distant internal team.

    – Jeremy French
    11 hours ago






  • 2





    Did they address it to you specifically and cc the managers? Or were you part of a big list? If it's the latter it's more likely the sender had a freudian slip moment and included your name by accident, and later tried to undo their actions hoping you wouldn't notice.

    – Tasos Papastylianou
    9 hours ago













  • This is my personal experience with Outlook specifically: An email won't recall if it's already been read. However, the recall is on a per-recipient basis. So, it's possible others still have it too. It's also worth noting that there is usually a report of sorts of which recalls were successful. It's entirely possible that he knows you (and possibly others) did receive and still have this email.

    – Xrylite
    8 hours ago











  • FWIW when I previously attempted to recall mail, I'd get a notification stating whether the recall succeeded or failed. So it's possible this person is aware (or at least suspects) that you have read/kept the email.

    – Thebluefish
    8 hours ago
















19















I recently received a critical email from someone who works at a company I deal with. It made a number of broad and inaccurate criticisms of some work I'd done. Copying in several managers for good measure



After of read it I got a mail recall notice, saying that the sender was recalling the mail and to disregard it. I guess it was meant delete automatically but didn't as I'm on a different mail system.



A day later they have sent nothing else.



But how should I respond, I feel these criticisms are still hanging but have no idea who read the email and don't know how to respond appropriately.



Should I just ignore it?










share|improve this question

























  • So, you still have that email in your bin? Did the sender reached out to you in any other way after this incident? What is your relationship with the sender

    – DarkCygnus
    12 hours ago











  • It didn't delete for me so I still have it they have not reached out since. The sender is part of a distant internal team.

    – Jeremy French
    11 hours ago






  • 2





    Did they address it to you specifically and cc the managers? Or were you part of a big list? If it's the latter it's more likely the sender had a freudian slip moment and included your name by accident, and later tried to undo their actions hoping you wouldn't notice.

    – Tasos Papastylianou
    9 hours ago













  • This is my personal experience with Outlook specifically: An email won't recall if it's already been read. However, the recall is on a per-recipient basis. So, it's possible others still have it too. It's also worth noting that there is usually a report of sorts of which recalls were successful. It's entirely possible that he knows you (and possibly others) did receive and still have this email.

    – Xrylite
    8 hours ago











  • FWIW when I previously attempted to recall mail, I'd get a notification stating whether the recall succeeded or failed. So it's possible this person is aware (or at least suspects) that you have read/kept the email.

    – Thebluefish
    8 hours ago














19












19








19


2






I recently received a critical email from someone who works at a company I deal with. It made a number of broad and inaccurate criticisms of some work I'd done. Copying in several managers for good measure



After of read it I got a mail recall notice, saying that the sender was recalling the mail and to disregard it. I guess it was meant delete automatically but didn't as I'm on a different mail system.



A day later they have sent nothing else.



But how should I respond, I feel these criticisms are still hanging but have no idea who read the email and don't know how to respond appropriately.



Should I just ignore it?










share|improve this question
















I recently received a critical email from someone who works at a company I deal with. It made a number of broad and inaccurate criticisms of some work I'd done. Copying in several managers for good measure



After of read it I got a mail recall notice, saying that the sender was recalling the mail and to disregard it. I guess it was meant delete automatically but didn't as I'm on a different mail system.



A day later they have sent nothing else.



But how should I respond, I feel these criticisms are still hanging but have no idea who read the email and don't know how to respond appropriately.



Should I just ignore it?







professionalism communication colleagues email






share|improve this question















share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited 12 hours ago









DarkCygnus

37.4k1778160




37.4k1778160










asked 12 hours ago









Jeremy FrenchJeremy French

2,8861221




2,8861221













  • So, you still have that email in your bin? Did the sender reached out to you in any other way after this incident? What is your relationship with the sender

    – DarkCygnus
    12 hours ago











  • It didn't delete for me so I still have it they have not reached out since. The sender is part of a distant internal team.

    – Jeremy French
    11 hours ago






  • 2





    Did they address it to you specifically and cc the managers? Or were you part of a big list? If it's the latter it's more likely the sender had a freudian slip moment and included your name by accident, and later tried to undo their actions hoping you wouldn't notice.

    – Tasos Papastylianou
    9 hours ago













  • This is my personal experience with Outlook specifically: An email won't recall if it's already been read. However, the recall is on a per-recipient basis. So, it's possible others still have it too. It's also worth noting that there is usually a report of sorts of which recalls were successful. It's entirely possible that he knows you (and possibly others) did receive and still have this email.

    – Xrylite
    8 hours ago











  • FWIW when I previously attempted to recall mail, I'd get a notification stating whether the recall succeeded or failed. So it's possible this person is aware (or at least suspects) that you have read/kept the email.

    – Thebluefish
    8 hours ago



















  • So, you still have that email in your bin? Did the sender reached out to you in any other way after this incident? What is your relationship with the sender

    – DarkCygnus
    12 hours ago











  • It didn't delete for me so I still have it they have not reached out since. The sender is part of a distant internal team.

    – Jeremy French
    11 hours ago






  • 2





    Did they address it to you specifically and cc the managers? Or were you part of a big list? If it's the latter it's more likely the sender had a freudian slip moment and included your name by accident, and later tried to undo their actions hoping you wouldn't notice.

    – Tasos Papastylianou
    9 hours ago













  • This is my personal experience with Outlook specifically: An email won't recall if it's already been read. However, the recall is on a per-recipient basis. So, it's possible others still have it too. It's also worth noting that there is usually a report of sorts of which recalls were successful. It's entirely possible that he knows you (and possibly others) did receive and still have this email.

    – Xrylite
    8 hours ago











  • FWIW when I previously attempted to recall mail, I'd get a notification stating whether the recall succeeded or failed. So it's possible this person is aware (or at least suspects) that you have read/kept the email.

    – Thebluefish
    8 hours ago

















So, you still have that email in your bin? Did the sender reached out to you in any other way after this incident? What is your relationship with the sender

– DarkCygnus
12 hours ago





So, you still have that email in your bin? Did the sender reached out to you in any other way after this incident? What is your relationship with the sender

– DarkCygnus
12 hours ago













It didn't delete for me so I still have it they have not reached out since. The sender is part of a distant internal team.

– Jeremy French
11 hours ago





It didn't delete for me so I still have it they have not reached out since. The sender is part of a distant internal team.

– Jeremy French
11 hours ago




2




2





Did they address it to you specifically and cc the managers? Or were you part of a big list? If it's the latter it's more likely the sender had a freudian slip moment and included your name by accident, and later tried to undo their actions hoping you wouldn't notice.

– Tasos Papastylianou
9 hours ago







Did they address it to you specifically and cc the managers? Or were you part of a big list? If it's the latter it's more likely the sender had a freudian slip moment and included your name by accident, and later tried to undo their actions hoping you wouldn't notice.

– Tasos Papastylianou
9 hours ago















This is my personal experience with Outlook specifically: An email won't recall if it's already been read. However, the recall is on a per-recipient basis. So, it's possible others still have it too. It's also worth noting that there is usually a report of sorts of which recalls were successful. It's entirely possible that he knows you (and possibly others) did receive and still have this email.

– Xrylite
8 hours ago





This is my personal experience with Outlook specifically: An email won't recall if it's already been read. However, the recall is on a per-recipient basis. So, it's possible others still have it too. It's also worth noting that there is usually a report of sorts of which recalls were successful. It's entirely possible that he knows you (and possibly others) did receive and still have this email.

– Xrylite
8 hours ago













FWIW when I previously attempted to recall mail, I'd get a notification stating whether the recall succeeded or failed. So it's possible this person is aware (or at least suspects) that you have read/kept the email.

– Thebluefish
8 hours ago





FWIW when I previously attempted to recall mail, I'd get a notification stating whether the recall succeeded or failed. So it's possible this person is aware (or at least suspects) that you have read/kept the email.

– Thebluefish
8 hours ago










7 Answers
7






active

oldest

votes


















37















Should I just ignore it?




Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate after sending the email (and perhaps checking your work again), and retracted the email when they found out.



I suggest you don't reply back and let it be, but still keep in mind what happened in case you notice any further suspicious or inaccurate activity from this person.





To make things crystal clear, you could also approach this person privately (perhaps go to their desk, or IM them directly) and tell them you noticed the email and its retraction, and would like to know the reason and if there is still something you can do to address the things stated in the email.



Keep in mind that, if you do this you have to be careful and polite, and only do it if you sense this person will not take it the wrong way.



As mentioned in comments, it is probable that the sender didn't intend to send the email to you in first place, so tread lightly here. Perhaps the "safest" course of action, as suggested before, would be not to reply back and be prepared for what you think could come based on the contents and intention of the email.






share|improve this answer





















  • 5





    I didn't downvote because of some useful comments. However, it's probably not a good idea to contact the person. Either they felt they committed a grave mistake and will be terribly embarrassed, or they didn't, and then you might enter a charged discussion. You now know that there is a real or perceived problem. You can rectify this if you think it is appropriate. But they do not know whether you know and how you will react to it, and that puts you at an advantage now. You can now prepare any counterargument ahead of time in case you should ever be confronted.

    – Captain Emacs
    10 hours ago








  • 34





    "Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate". It's more probable they realized they included the OP as a receiver. They wanted to complain about the OP to other people, not include them among the receivers. This kind of mistakes happens so frequently.

    – BigMadAndy
    10 hours ago











  • @CaptainEmacs yes, approaching the person should be handled carefully, if done... OP could just leave it be and don't approach the person, but still keep in mind the incident to watch their backs and be prepared if something happens again

    – DarkCygnus
    10 hours ago






  • 2





    @CaptainEmacs besides, the email was already sent. OP has the right to know why it was sent in first place. If there is an existing problem perceived between OP and the sender it should be resolved, not ignored.

    – DarkCygnus
    10 hours ago






  • 4





    "Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate after sending the email (and perhaps checking your work again), and retracted the email when they found out." I very much doubt that. They realized (or maybe were told) their behavior was likely to get them in trouble and tried to cover it up to minimize the negative blowback to themselves. I think it is overwhelmingly likely they still hold a grudge against OP and will try and take it out in ways less likely to backfire on themselves.

    – Kevin
    10 hours ago



















9














If your direct manager didn't receive it AND you still have a copy, forward it to them and ask them for a meeting to discuss the contents. Before the meeting go through the email carefully and make notes for each point with facts to back up any disagreements with their statements. During the meeting, go through your notes and present your case. Do it as unemotionally as possible.



Ask your manager if there's anything left that s/he is concerned about and what your next steps should be. I would assume (hope?) that your manager will handle it from here.






share|improve this answer





















  • 1





    Yes, that seems essential to me. You are being badmouthed to clients, in a totally inaccurate way. You need to first let your own manager know that this happened, and the specific points in which this is untrue (documentation is good here..). Then with this report in hand they can in turn contact the other company's managers that were the recipients of this email, and address the situation directly. This is not just an interpersonal conflict, your company's reputation is on the line, and you are responsible for setting the record straight before they lose the client

    – George M
    8 hours ago



















7















Prepare a response, but do not send. Yet.



You have the luxury of knowing what was going to be sent and to who; as well it seems they believe you haven't seen it.



If there are any valid criticisms (however poorly phrased), focus on how you can improve on these areas so when/if the e-mail is sent properly you will have addressed that concern and demonstrated your ability in your office.



I do not recommend responding to the e-mail. It was not meant to be sent and not meant to be responded to. Consider it a little window into how someone might think about your performance and how you should regard that person from now on.






share|improve this answer



















  • 1





    If you do this, remove everyone from the recipient list before composing it. Sending an e-mail early is embarassing, sending a reply that you never meant anyone to see would be disastrous.

    – Ben Voigt
    4 hours ago



















3














Do not respond to the email via a reply. They retracted it so they realized it was the wrong thing to do.



But, do not ignore the email either. For right or wrong, they feel/felt that you didn't perform adequately. Put aside yourself for a moment and really consider if they have ANY valid points at all. If they do, these are things you need to improve upon. If not, then chalk it up to an overly emotional/critical response (which is why they recalled it).






share|improve this answer































    1














    An example based on something I've observed to happen in the past, similarly regarding feedback on a collaborative project.



    You will know better from the context, but it may have been that the email was written as a joke, to let off some frustration connected with your project, but never intended to be sent. Then later the writer hit 'send' rather than 'delete', by accident.



    As a result of this experience (the repercussions I wasn't party to, but it wasn't a disaster), I always make sure to delete the 'to' when writing a reply to an email in anger (or just drafting something confrontational).






    share|improve this answer































      1














      Look at the possibilities.

      1) The email deletion was specific to you, the email was still sent to the managers.



      2) The deletion was for everyone, but it also didn't work for everyone else, so the email was still received by one or more of the managers.



      3) The deletion was effective for everyone else and no-one but the writer ever saw the email.



      As OP says there were "broad and inaccurate criticisms" if this was within your own company I would do a measured response, pointing out why those comments are wrong. If situation 1 or 2 is the case, this is probably the most appropriate response. In situation 3, this would mean exposing the original criticisms to managers who hadn't actually seen them, but if the writer was mentioning it in an email, it may already be muttered about at their workplace and still gives you a chance to get your point of view out there.



      However, because it was in a different company, you should let your own direct manager know and discuss with them if they are okay with your planned response before doing anything.



      You could also send a short email to the writer, saying "I saw this and think there are some misunderstandings, I'll send out a more detailed email to all the recipients to deal with it point by point." That gives them a heads up that you received the email and gives them a chance to let their managers know if they goofed in sending the original email out at all.






      share|improve this answer































        -2














        The accepted answer suggests




        this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate after sending the email (and perhaps checking your work again), and retracted the email when they found out.




        I don't think that's very probable. It's more probable they realized they included the OP as a receiver, which they hadn't intended. They wanted to complain about the OP to other people, not include him among the receivers. This kind of mistakes happens so frequently in offices.



        It's hard to believe the colleague took time to write a long, detailed email and then simply decided everything they wrote was wrong and shouldn't have been written.



        So how should the OP react?



        Constructively. He shouldn't pretend he hasn't got anything.



        Instead, he should 1) talk to the person and take a stance on the criticism, or ever 2) reply to everybody.



        In both situations they should say/ write something like:




        I realize this email has been retracted after being sent, but I couldn't help and read it.




        Then the OP should take a fair stance on the criticism, not acting defensively but also not accepting the blame for what wasn't his fault. He should propose a solution how the cooperation between him and the colleague can be made better in the future.



        Which should he chose, 1) or 2)? It depends on the situation. We don't have enough details on the political situation in their workplace and their political strength to tell him which solution makes more sense.






        share|improve this answer























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          7 Answers
          7






          active

          oldest

          votes








          7 Answers
          7






          active

          oldest

          votes









          active

          oldest

          votes






          active

          oldest

          votes









          37















          Should I just ignore it?




          Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate after sending the email (and perhaps checking your work again), and retracted the email when they found out.



          I suggest you don't reply back and let it be, but still keep in mind what happened in case you notice any further suspicious or inaccurate activity from this person.





          To make things crystal clear, you could also approach this person privately (perhaps go to their desk, or IM them directly) and tell them you noticed the email and its retraction, and would like to know the reason and if there is still something you can do to address the things stated in the email.



          Keep in mind that, if you do this you have to be careful and polite, and only do it if you sense this person will not take it the wrong way.



          As mentioned in comments, it is probable that the sender didn't intend to send the email to you in first place, so tread lightly here. Perhaps the "safest" course of action, as suggested before, would be not to reply back and be prepared for what you think could come based on the contents and intention of the email.






          share|improve this answer





















          • 5





            I didn't downvote because of some useful comments. However, it's probably not a good idea to contact the person. Either they felt they committed a grave mistake and will be terribly embarrassed, or they didn't, and then you might enter a charged discussion. You now know that there is a real or perceived problem. You can rectify this if you think it is appropriate. But they do not know whether you know and how you will react to it, and that puts you at an advantage now. You can now prepare any counterargument ahead of time in case you should ever be confronted.

            – Captain Emacs
            10 hours ago








          • 34





            "Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate". It's more probable they realized they included the OP as a receiver. They wanted to complain about the OP to other people, not include them among the receivers. This kind of mistakes happens so frequently.

            – BigMadAndy
            10 hours ago











          • @CaptainEmacs yes, approaching the person should be handled carefully, if done... OP could just leave it be and don't approach the person, but still keep in mind the incident to watch their backs and be prepared if something happens again

            – DarkCygnus
            10 hours ago






          • 2





            @CaptainEmacs besides, the email was already sent. OP has the right to know why it was sent in first place. If there is an existing problem perceived between OP and the sender it should be resolved, not ignored.

            – DarkCygnus
            10 hours ago






          • 4





            "Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate after sending the email (and perhaps checking your work again), and retracted the email when they found out." I very much doubt that. They realized (or maybe were told) their behavior was likely to get them in trouble and tried to cover it up to minimize the negative blowback to themselves. I think it is overwhelmingly likely they still hold a grudge against OP and will try and take it out in ways less likely to backfire on themselves.

            – Kevin
            10 hours ago
















          37















          Should I just ignore it?




          Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate after sending the email (and perhaps checking your work again), and retracted the email when they found out.



          I suggest you don't reply back and let it be, but still keep in mind what happened in case you notice any further suspicious or inaccurate activity from this person.





          To make things crystal clear, you could also approach this person privately (perhaps go to their desk, or IM them directly) and tell them you noticed the email and its retraction, and would like to know the reason and if there is still something you can do to address the things stated in the email.



          Keep in mind that, if you do this you have to be careful and polite, and only do it if you sense this person will not take it the wrong way.



          As mentioned in comments, it is probable that the sender didn't intend to send the email to you in first place, so tread lightly here. Perhaps the "safest" course of action, as suggested before, would be not to reply back and be prepared for what you think could come based on the contents and intention of the email.






          share|improve this answer





















          • 5





            I didn't downvote because of some useful comments. However, it's probably not a good idea to contact the person. Either they felt they committed a grave mistake and will be terribly embarrassed, or they didn't, and then you might enter a charged discussion. You now know that there is a real or perceived problem. You can rectify this if you think it is appropriate. But they do not know whether you know and how you will react to it, and that puts you at an advantage now. You can now prepare any counterargument ahead of time in case you should ever be confronted.

            – Captain Emacs
            10 hours ago








          • 34





            "Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate". It's more probable they realized they included the OP as a receiver. They wanted to complain about the OP to other people, not include them among the receivers. This kind of mistakes happens so frequently.

            – BigMadAndy
            10 hours ago











          • @CaptainEmacs yes, approaching the person should be handled carefully, if done... OP could just leave it be and don't approach the person, but still keep in mind the incident to watch their backs and be prepared if something happens again

            – DarkCygnus
            10 hours ago






          • 2





            @CaptainEmacs besides, the email was already sent. OP has the right to know why it was sent in first place. If there is an existing problem perceived between OP and the sender it should be resolved, not ignored.

            – DarkCygnus
            10 hours ago






          • 4





            "Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate after sending the email (and perhaps checking your work again), and retracted the email when they found out." I very much doubt that. They realized (or maybe were told) their behavior was likely to get them in trouble and tried to cover it up to minimize the negative blowback to themselves. I think it is overwhelmingly likely they still hold a grudge against OP and will try and take it out in ways less likely to backfire on themselves.

            – Kevin
            10 hours ago














          37












          37








          37








          Should I just ignore it?




          Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate after sending the email (and perhaps checking your work again), and retracted the email when they found out.



          I suggest you don't reply back and let it be, but still keep in mind what happened in case you notice any further suspicious or inaccurate activity from this person.





          To make things crystal clear, you could also approach this person privately (perhaps go to their desk, or IM them directly) and tell them you noticed the email and its retraction, and would like to know the reason and if there is still something you can do to address the things stated in the email.



          Keep in mind that, if you do this you have to be careful and polite, and only do it if you sense this person will not take it the wrong way.



          As mentioned in comments, it is probable that the sender didn't intend to send the email to you in first place, so tread lightly here. Perhaps the "safest" course of action, as suggested before, would be not to reply back and be prepared for what you think could come based on the contents and intention of the email.






          share|improve this answer
















          Should I just ignore it?




          Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate after sending the email (and perhaps checking your work again), and retracted the email when they found out.



          I suggest you don't reply back and let it be, but still keep in mind what happened in case you notice any further suspicious or inaccurate activity from this person.





          To make things crystal clear, you could also approach this person privately (perhaps go to their desk, or IM them directly) and tell them you noticed the email and its retraction, and would like to know the reason and if there is still something you can do to address the things stated in the email.



          Keep in mind that, if you do this you have to be careful and polite, and only do it if you sense this person will not take it the wrong way.



          As mentioned in comments, it is probable that the sender didn't intend to send the email to you in first place, so tread lightly here. Perhaps the "safest" course of action, as suggested before, would be not to reply back and be prepared for what you think could come based on the contents and intention of the email.







          share|improve this answer














          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer








          edited 10 hours ago

























          answered 12 hours ago









          DarkCygnusDarkCygnus

          37.4k1778160




          37.4k1778160








          • 5





            I didn't downvote because of some useful comments. However, it's probably not a good idea to contact the person. Either they felt they committed a grave mistake and will be terribly embarrassed, or they didn't, and then you might enter a charged discussion. You now know that there is a real or perceived problem. You can rectify this if you think it is appropriate. But they do not know whether you know and how you will react to it, and that puts you at an advantage now. You can now prepare any counterargument ahead of time in case you should ever be confronted.

            – Captain Emacs
            10 hours ago








          • 34





            "Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate". It's more probable they realized they included the OP as a receiver. They wanted to complain about the OP to other people, not include them among the receivers. This kind of mistakes happens so frequently.

            – BigMadAndy
            10 hours ago











          • @CaptainEmacs yes, approaching the person should be handled carefully, if done... OP could just leave it be and don't approach the person, but still keep in mind the incident to watch their backs and be prepared if something happens again

            – DarkCygnus
            10 hours ago






          • 2





            @CaptainEmacs besides, the email was already sent. OP has the right to know why it was sent in first place. If there is an existing problem perceived between OP and the sender it should be resolved, not ignored.

            – DarkCygnus
            10 hours ago






          • 4





            "Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate after sending the email (and perhaps checking your work again), and retracted the email when they found out." I very much doubt that. They realized (or maybe were told) their behavior was likely to get them in trouble and tried to cover it up to minimize the negative blowback to themselves. I think it is overwhelmingly likely they still hold a grudge against OP and will try and take it out in ways less likely to backfire on themselves.

            – Kevin
            10 hours ago














          • 5





            I didn't downvote because of some useful comments. However, it's probably not a good idea to contact the person. Either they felt they committed a grave mistake and will be terribly embarrassed, or they didn't, and then you might enter a charged discussion. You now know that there is a real or perceived problem. You can rectify this if you think it is appropriate. But they do not know whether you know and how you will react to it, and that puts you at an advantage now. You can now prepare any counterargument ahead of time in case you should ever be confronted.

            – Captain Emacs
            10 hours ago








          • 34





            "Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate". It's more probable they realized they included the OP as a receiver. They wanted to complain about the OP to other people, not include them among the receivers. This kind of mistakes happens so frequently.

            – BigMadAndy
            10 hours ago











          • @CaptainEmacs yes, approaching the person should be handled carefully, if done... OP could just leave it be and don't approach the person, but still keep in mind the incident to watch their backs and be prepared if something happens again

            – DarkCygnus
            10 hours ago






          • 2





            @CaptainEmacs besides, the email was already sent. OP has the right to know why it was sent in first place. If there is an existing problem perceived between OP and the sender it should be resolved, not ignored.

            – DarkCygnus
            10 hours ago






          • 4





            "Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate after sending the email (and perhaps checking your work again), and retracted the email when they found out." I very much doubt that. They realized (or maybe were told) their behavior was likely to get them in trouble and tried to cover it up to minimize the negative blowback to themselves. I think it is overwhelmingly likely they still hold a grudge against OP and will try and take it out in ways less likely to backfire on themselves.

            – Kevin
            10 hours ago








          5




          5





          I didn't downvote because of some useful comments. However, it's probably not a good idea to contact the person. Either they felt they committed a grave mistake and will be terribly embarrassed, or they didn't, and then you might enter a charged discussion. You now know that there is a real or perceived problem. You can rectify this if you think it is appropriate. But they do not know whether you know and how you will react to it, and that puts you at an advantage now. You can now prepare any counterargument ahead of time in case you should ever be confronted.

          – Captain Emacs
          10 hours ago







          I didn't downvote because of some useful comments. However, it's probably not a good idea to contact the person. Either they felt they committed a grave mistake and will be terribly embarrassed, or they didn't, and then you might enter a charged discussion. You now know that there is a real or perceived problem. You can rectify this if you think it is appropriate. But they do not know whether you know and how you will react to it, and that puts you at an advantage now. You can now prepare any counterargument ahead of time in case you should ever be confronted.

          – Captain Emacs
          10 hours ago






          34




          34





          "Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate". It's more probable they realized they included the OP as a receiver. They wanted to complain about the OP to other people, not include them among the receivers. This kind of mistakes happens so frequently.

          – BigMadAndy
          10 hours ago





          "Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate". It's more probable they realized they included the OP as a receiver. They wanted to complain about the OP to other people, not include them among the receivers. This kind of mistakes happens so frequently.

          – BigMadAndy
          10 hours ago













          @CaptainEmacs yes, approaching the person should be handled carefully, if done... OP could just leave it be and don't approach the person, but still keep in mind the incident to watch their backs and be prepared if something happens again

          – DarkCygnus
          10 hours ago





          @CaptainEmacs yes, approaching the person should be handled carefully, if done... OP could just leave it be and don't approach the person, but still keep in mind the incident to watch their backs and be prepared if something happens again

          – DarkCygnus
          10 hours ago




          2




          2





          @CaptainEmacs besides, the email was already sent. OP has the right to know why it was sent in first place. If there is an existing problem perceived between OP and the sender it should be resolved, not ignored.

          – DarkCygnus
          10 hours ago





          @CaptainEmacs besides, the email was already sent. OP has the right to know why it was sent in first place. If there is an existing problem perceived between OP and the sender it should be resolved, not ignored.

          – DarkCygnus
          10 hours ago




          4




          4





          "Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate after sending the email (and perhaps checking your work again), and retracted the email when they found out." I very much doubt that. They realized (or maybe were told) their behavior was likely to get them in trouble and tried to cover it up to minimize the negative blowback to themselves. I think it is overwhelmingly likely they still hold a grudge against OP and will try and take it out in ways less likely to backfire on themselves.

          – Kevin
          10 hours ago





          "Chances are that this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate after sending the email (and perhaps checking your work again), and retracted the email when they found out." I very much doubt that. They realized (or maybe were told) their behavior was likely to get them in trouble and tried to cover it up to minimize the negative blowback to themselves. I think it is overwhelmingly likely they still hold a grudge against OP and will try and take it out in ways less likely to backfire on themselves.

          – Kevin
          10 hours ago













          9














          If your direct manager didn't receive it AND you still have a copy, forward it to them and ask them for a meeting to discuss the contents. Before the meeting go through the email carefully and make notes for each point with facts to back up any disagreements with their statements. During the meeting, go through your notes and present your case. Do it as unemotionally as possible.



          Ask your manager if there's anything left that s/he is concerned about and what your next steps should be. I would assume (hope?) that your manager will handle it from here.






          share|improve this answer





















          • 1





            Yes, that seems essential to me. You are being badmouthed to clients, in a totally inaccurate way. You need to first let your own manager know that this happened, and the specific points in which this is untrue (documentation is good here..). Then with this report in hand they can in turn contact the other company's managers that were the recipients of this email, and address the situation directly. This is not just an interpersonal conflict, your company's reputation is on the line, and you are responsible for setting the record straight before they lose the client

            – George M
            8 hours ago
















          9














          If your direct manager didn't receive it AND you still have a copy, forward it to them and ask them for a meeting to discuss the contents. Before the meeting go through the email carefully and make notes for each point with facts to back up any disagreements with their statements. During the meeting, go through your notes and present your case. Do it as unemotionally as possible.



          Ask your manager if there's anything left that s/he is concerned about and what your next steps should be. I would assume (hope?) that your manager will handle it from here.






          share|improve this answer





















          • 1





            Yes, that seems essential to me. You are being badmouthed to clients, in a totally inaccurate way. You need to first let your own manager know that this happened, and the specific points in which this is untrue (documentation is good here..). Then with this report in hand they can in turn contact the other company's managers that were the recipients of this email, and address the situation directly. This is not just an interpersonal conflict, your company's reputation is on the line, and you are responsible for setting the record straight before they lose the client

            – George M
            8 hours ago














          9












          9








          9







          If your direct manager didn't receive it AND you still have a copy, forward it to them and ask them for a meeting to discuss the contents. Before the meeting go through the email carefully and make notes for each point with facts to back up any disagreements with their statements. During the meeting, go through your notes and present your case. Do it as unemotionally as possible.



          Ask your manager if there's anything left that s/he is concerned about and what your next steps should be. I would assume (hope?) that your manager will handle it from here.






          share|improve this answer















          If your direct manager didn't receive it AND you still have a copy, forward it to them and ask them for a meeting to discuss the contents. Before the meeting go through the email carefully and make notes for each point with facts to back up any disagreements with their statements. During the meeting, go through your notes and present your case. Do it as unemotionally as possible.



          Ask your manager if there's anything left that s/he is concerned about and what your next steps should be. I would assume (hope?) that your manager will handle it from here.







          share|improve this answer














          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer








          edited 2 hours ago









          Kat

          2,80221318




          2,80221318










          answered 10 hours ago









          JeffCJeffC

          1,121410




          1,121410








          • 1





            Yes, that seems essential to me. You are being badmouthed to clients, in a totally inaccurate way. You need to first let your own manager know that this happened, and the specific points in which this is untrue (documentation is good here..). Then with this report in hand they can in turn contact the other company's managers that were the recipients of this email, and address the situation directly. This is not just an interpersonal conflict, your company's reputation is on the line, and you are responsible for setting the record straight before they lose the client

            – George M
            8 hours ago














          • 1





            Yes, that seems essential to me. You are being badmouthed to clients, in a totally inaccurate way. You need to first let your own manager know that this happened, and the specific points in which this is untrue (documentation is good here..). Then with this report in hand they can in turn contact the other company's managers that were the recipients of this email, and address the situation directly. This is not just an interpersonal conflict, your company's reputation is on the line, and you are responsible for setting the record straight before they lose the client

            – George M
            8 hours ago








          1




          1





          Yes, that seems essential to me. You are being badmouthed to clients, in a totally inaccurate way. You need to first let your own manager know that this happened, and the specific points in which this is untrue (documentation is good here..). Then with this report in hand they can in turn contact the other company's managers that were the recipients of this email, and address the situation directly. This is not just an interpersonal conflict, your company's reputation is on the line, and you are responsible for setting the record straight before they lose the client

          – George M
          8 hours ago





          Yes, that seems essential to me. You are being badmouthed to clients, in a totally inaccurate way. You need to first let your own manager know that this happened, and the specific points in which this is untrue (documentation is good here..). Then with this report in hand they can in turn contact the other company's managers that were the recipients of this email, and address the situation directly. This is not just an interpersonal conflict, your company's reputation is on the line, and you are responsible for setting the record straight before they lose the client

          – George M
          8 hours ago











          7















          Prepare a response, but do not send. Yet.



          You have the luxury of knowing what was going to be sent and to who; as well it seems they believe you haven't seen it.



          If there are any valid criticisms (however poorly phrased), focus on how you can improve on these areas so when/if the e-mail is sent properly you will have addressed that concern and demonstrated your ability in your office.



          I do not recommend responding to the e-mail. It was not meant to be sent and not meant to be responded to. Consider it a little window into how someone might think about your performance and how you should regard that person from now on.






          share|improve this answer



















          • 1





            If you do this, remove everyone from the recipient list before composing it. Sending an e-mail early is embarassing, sending a reply that you never meant anyone to see would be disastrous.

            – Ben Voigt
            4 hours ago
















          7















          Prepare a response, but do not send. Yet.



          You have the luxury of knowing what was going to be sent and to who; as well it seems they believe you haven't seen it.



          If there are any valid criticisms (however poorly phrased), focus on how you can improve on these areas so when/if the e-mail is sent properly you will have addressed that concern and demonstrated your ability in your office.



          I do not recommend responding to the e-mail. It was not meant to be sent and not meant to be responded to. Consider it a little window into how someone might think about your performance and how you should regard that person from now on.






          share|improve this answer



















          • 1





            If you do this, remove everyone from the recipient list before composing it. Sending an e-mail early is embarassing, sending a reply that you never meant anyone to see would be disastrous.

            – Ben Voigt
            4 hours ago














          7












          7








          7








          Prepare a response, but do not send. Yet.



          You have the luxury of knowing what was going to be sent and to who; as well it seems they believe you haven't seen it.



          If there are any valid criticisms (however poorly phrased), focus on how you can improve on these areas so when/if the e-mail is sent properly you will have addressed that concern and demonstrated your ability in your office.



          I do not recommend responding to the e-mail. It was not meant to be sent and not meant to be responded to. Consider it a little window into how someone might think about your performance and how you should regard that person from now on.






          share|improve this answer














          Prepare a response, but do not send. Yet.



          You have the luxury of knowing what was going to be sent and to who; as well it seems they believe you haven't seen it.



          If there are any valid criticisms (however poorly phrased), focus on how you can improve on these areas so when/if the e-mail is sent properly you will have addressed that concern and demonstrated your ability in your office.



          I do not recommend responding to the e-mail. It was not meant to be sent and not meant to be responded to. Consider it a little window into how someone might think about your performance and how you should regard that person from now on.







          share|improve this answer












          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer










          answered 12 hours ago









          MikeyMikey

          716410




          716410








          • 1





            If you do this, remove everyone from the recipient list before composing it. Sending an e-mail early is embarassing, sending a reply that you never meant anyone to see would be disastrous.

            – Ben Voigt
            4 hours ago














          • 1





            If you do this, remove everyone from the recipient list before composing it. Sending an e-mail early is embarassing, sending a reply that you never meant anyone to see would be disastrous.

            – Ben Voigt
            4 hours ago








          1




          1





          If you do this, remove everyone from the recipient list before composing it. Sending an e-mail early is embarassing, sending a reply that you never meant anyone to see would be disastrous.

          – Ben Voigt
          4 hours ago





          If you do this, remove everyone from the recipient list before composing it. Sending an e-mail early is embarassing, sending a reply that you never meant anyone to see would be disastrous.

          – Ben Voigt
          4 hours ago











          3














          Do not respond to the email via a reply. They retracted it so they realized it was the wrong thing to do.



          But, do not ignore the email either. For right or wrong, they feel/felt that you didn't perform adequately. Put aside yourself for a moment and really consider if they have ANY valid points at all. If they do, these are things you need to improve upon. If not, then chalk it up to an overly emotional/critical response (which is why they recalled it).






          share|improve this answer




























            3














            Do not respond to the email via a reply. They retracted it so they realized it was the wrong thing to do.



            But, do not ignore the email either. For right or wrong, they feel/felt that you didn't perform adequately. Put aside yourself for a moment and really consider if they have ANY valid points at all. If they do, these are things you need to improve upon. If not, then chalk it up to an overly emotional/critical response (which is why they recalled it).






            share|improve this answer


























              3












              3








              3







              Do not respond to the email via a reply. They retracted it so they realized it was the wrong thing to do.



              But, do not ignore the email either. For right or wrong, they feel/felt that you didn't perform adequately. Put aside yourself for a moment and really consider if they have ANY valid points at all. If they do, these are things you need to improve upon. If not, then chalk it up to an overly emotional/critical response (which is why they recalled it).






              share|improve this answer













              Do not respond to the email via a reply. They retracted it so they realized it was the wrong thing to do.



              But, do not ignore the email either. For right or wrong, they feel/felt that you didn't perform adequately. Put aside yourself for a moment and really consider if they have ANY valid points at all. If they do, these are things you need to improve upon. If not, then chalk it up to an overly emotional/critical response (which is why they recalled it).







              share|improve this answer












              share|improve this answer



              share|improve this answer










              answered 12 hours ago









              UnhandledExcepSeanUnhandledExcepSean

              3,23111323




              3,23111323























                  1














                  An example based on something I've observed to happen in the past, similarly regarding feedback on a collaborative project.



                  You will know better from the context, but it may have been that the email was written as a joke, to let off some frustration connected with your project, but never intended to be sent. Then later the writer hit 'send' rather than 'delete', by accident.



                  As a result of this experience (the repercussions I wasn't party to, but it wasn't a disaster), I always make sure to delete the 'to' when writing a reply to an email in anger (or just drafting something confrontational).






                  share|improve this answer




























                    1














                    An example based on something I've observed to happen in the past, similarly regarding feedback on a collaborative project.



                    You will know better from the context, but it may have been that the email was written as a joke, to let off some frustration connected with your project, but never intended to be sent. Then later the writer hit 'send' rather than 'delete', by accident.



                    As a result of this experience (the repercussions I wasn't party to, but it wasn't a disaster), I always make sure to delete the 'to' when writing a reply to an email in anger (or just drafting something confrontational).






                    share|improve this answer


























                      1












                      1








                      1







                      An example based on something I've observed to happen in the past, similarly regarding feedback on a collaborative project.



                      You will know better from the context, but it may have been that the email was written as a joke, to let off some frustration connected with your project, but never intended to be sent. Then later the writer hit 'send' rather than 'delete', by accident.



                      As a result of this experience (the repercussions I wasn't party to, but it wasn't a disaster), I always make sure to delete the 'to' when writing a reply to an email in anger (or just drafting something confrontational).






                      share|improve this answer













                      An example based on something I've observed to happen in the past, similarly regarding feedback on a collaborative project.



                      You will know better from the context, but it may have been that the email was written as a joke, to let off some frustration connected with your project, but never intended to be sent. Then later the writer hit 'send' rather than 'delete', by accident.



                      As a result of this experience (the repercussions I wasn't party to, but it wasn't a disaster), I always make sure to delete the 'to' when writing a reply to an email in anger (or just drafting something confrontational).







                      share|improve this answer












                      share|improve this answer



                      share|improve this answer










                      answered 10 hours ago









                      Sean HoulihaneSean Houlihane

                      869513




                      869513























                          1














                          Look at the possibilities.

                          1) The email deletion was specific to you, the email was still sent to the managers.



                          2) The deletion was for everyone, but it also didn't work for everyone else, so the email was still received by one or more of the managers.



                          3) The deletion was effective for everyone else and no-one but the writer ever saw the email.



                          As OP says there were "broad and inaccurate criticisms" if this was within your own company I would do a measured response, pointing out why those comments are wrong. If situation 1 or 2 is the case, this is probably the most appropriate response. In situation 3, this would mean exposing the original criticisms to managers who hadn't actually seen them, but if the writer was mentioning it in an email, it may already be muttered about at their workplace and still gives you a chance to get your point of view out there.



                          However, because it was in a different company, you should let your own direct manager know and discuss with them if they are okay with your planned response before doing anything.



                          You could also send a short email to the writer, saying "I saw this and think there are some misunderstandings, I'll send out a more detailed email to all the recipients to deal with it point by point." That gives them a heads up that you received the email and gives them a chance to let their managers know if they goofed in sending the original email out at all.






                          share|improve this answer




























                            1














                            Look at the possibilities.

                            1) The email deletion was specific to you, the email was still sent to the managers.



                            2) The deletion was for everyone, but it also didn't work for everyone else, so the email was still received by one or more of the managers.



                            3) The deletion was effective for everyone else and no-one but the writer ever saw the email.



                            As OP says there were "broad and inaccurate criticisms" if this was within your own company I would do a measured response, pointing out why those comments are wrong. If situation 1 or 2 is the case, this is probably the most appropriate response. In situation 3, this would mean exposing the original criticisms to managers who hadn't actually seen them, but if the writer was mentioning it in an email, it may already be muttered about at their workplace and still gives you a chance to get your point of view out there.



                            However, because it was in a different company, you should let your own direct manager know and discuss with them if they are okay with your planned response before doing anything.



                            You could also send a short email to the writer, saying "I saw this and think there are some misunderstandings, I'll send out a more detailed email to all the recipients to deal with it point by point." That gives them a heads up that you received the email and gives them a chance to let their managers know if they goofed in sending the original email out at all.






                            share|improve this answer


























                              1












                              1








                              1







                              Look at the possibilities.

                              1) The email deletion was specific to you, the email was still sent to the managers.



                              2) The deletion was for everyone, but it also didn't work for everyone else, so the email was still received by one or more of the managers.



                              3) The deletion was effective for everyone else and no-one but the writer ever saw the email.



                              As OP says there were "broad and inaccurate criticisms" if this was within your own company I would do a measured response, pointing out why those comments are wrong. If situation 1 or 2 is the case, this is probably the most appropriate response. In situation 3, this would mean exposing the original criticisms to managers who hadn't actually seen them, but if the writer was mentioning it in an email, it may already be muttered about at their workplace and still gives you a chance to get your point of view out there.



                              However, because it was in a different company, you should let your own direct manager know and discuss with them if they are okay with your planned response before doing anything.



                              You could also send a short email to the writer, saying "I saw this and think there are some misunderstandings, I'll send out a more detailed email to all the recipients to deal with it point by point." That gives them a heads up that you received the email and gives them a chance to let their managers know if they goofed in sending the original email out at all.






                              share|improve this answer













                              Look at the possibilities.

                              1) The email deletion was specific to you, the email was still sent to the managers.



                              2) The deletion was for everyone, but it also didn't work for everyone else, so the email was still received by one or more of the managers.



                              3) The deletion was effective for everyone else and no-one but the writer ever saw the email.



                              As OP says there were "broad and inaccurate criticisms" if this was within your own company I would do a measured response, pointing out why those comments are wrong. If situation 1 or 2 is the case, this is probably the most appropriate response. In situation 3, this would mean exposing the original criticisms to managers who hadn't actually seen them, but if the writer was mentioning it in an email, it may already be muttered about at their workplace and still gives you a chance to get your point of view out there.



                              However, because it was in a different company, you should let your own direct manager know and discuss with them if they are okay with your planned response before doing anything.



                              You could also send a short email to the writer, saying "I saw this and think there are some misunderstandings, I'll send out a more detailed email to all the recipients to deal with it point by point." That gives them a heads up that you received the email and gives them a chance to let their managers know if they goofed in sending the original email out at all.







                              share|improve this answer












                              share|improve this answer



                              share|improve this answer










                              answered 9 hours ago









                              DragonelDragonel

                              63258




                              63258























                                  -2














                                  The accepted answer suggests




                                  this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate after sending the email (and perhaps checking your work again), and retracted the email when they found out.




                                  I don't think that's very probable. It's more probable they realized they included the OP as a receiver, which they hadn't intended. They wanted to complain about the OP to other people, not include him among the receivers. This kind of mistakes happens so frequently in offices.



                                  It's hard to believe the colleague took time to write a long, detailed email and then simply decided everything they wrote was wrong and shouldn't have been written.



                                  So how should the OP react?



                                  Constructively. He shouldn't pretend he hasn't got anything.



                                  Instead, he should 1) talk to the person and take a stance on the criticism, or ever 2) reply to everybody.



                                  In both situations they should say/ write something like:




                                  I realize this email has been retracted after being sent, but I couldn't help and read it.




                                  Then the OP should take a fair stance on the criticism, not acting defensively but also not accepting the blame for what wasn't his fault. He should propose a solution how the cooperation between him and the colleague can be made better in the future.



                                  Which should he chose, 1) or 2)? It depends on the situation. We don't have enough details on the political situation in their workplace and their political strength to tell him which solution makes more sense.






                                  share|improve this answer




























                                    -2














                                    The accepted answer suggests




                                    this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate after sending the email (and perhaps checking your work again), and retracted the email when they found out.




                                    I don't think that's very probable. It's more probable they realized they included the OP as a receiver, which they hadn't intended. They wanted to complain about the OP to other people, not include him among the receivers. This kind of mistakes happens so frequently in offices.



                                    It's hard to believe the colleague took time to write a long, detailed email and then simply decided everything they wrote was wrong and shouldn't have been written.



                                    So how should the OP react?



                                    Constructively. He shouldn't pretend he hasn't got anything.



                                    Instead, he should 1) talk to the person and take a stance on the criticism, or ever 2) reply to everybody.



                                    In both situations they should say/ write something like:




                                    I realize this email has been retracted after being sent, but I couldn't help and read it.




                                    Then the OP should take a fair stance on the criticism, not acting defensively but also not accepting the blame for what wasn't his fault. He should propose a solution how the cooperation between him and the colleague can be made better in the future.



                                    Which should he chose, 1) or 2)? It depends on the situation. We don't have enough details on the political situation in their workplace and their political strength to tell him which solution makes more sense.






                                    share|improve this answer


























                                      -2












                                      -2








                                      -2







                                      The accepted answer suggests




                                      this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate after sending the email (and perhaps checking your work again), and retracted the email when they found out.




                                      I don't think that's very probable. It's more probable they realized they included the OP as a receiver, which they hadn't intended. They wanted to complain about the OP to other people, not include him among the receivers. This kind of mistakes happens so frequently in offices.



                                      It's hard to believe the colleague took time to write a long, detailed email and then simply decided everything they wrote was wrong and shouldn't have been written.



                                      So how should the OP react?



                                      Constructively. He shouldn't pretend he hasn't got anything.



                                      Instead, he should 1) talk to the person and take a stance on the criticism, or ever 2) reply to everybody.



                                      In both situations they should say/ write something like:




                                      I realize this email has been retracted after being sent, but I couldn't help and read it.




                                      Then the OP should take a fair stance on the criticism, not acting defensively but also not accepting the blame for what wasn't his fault. He should propose a solution how the cooperation between him and the colleague can be made better in the future.



                                      Which should he chose, 1) or 2)? It depends on the situation. We don't have enough details on the political situation in their workplace and their political strength to tell him which solution makes more sense.






                                      share|improve this answer













                                      The accepted answer suggests




                                      this person realized that their criticism was broad and inaccurate after sending the email (and perhaps checking your work again), and retracted the email when they found out.




                                      I don't think that's very probable. It's more probable they realized they included the OP as a receiver, which they hadn't intended. They wanted to complain about the OP to other people, not include him among the receivers. This kind of mistakes happens so frequently in offices.



                                      It's hard to believe the colleague took time to write a long, detailed email and then simply decided everything they wrote was wrong and shouldn't have been written.



                                      So how should the OP react?



                                      Constructively. He shouldn't pretend he hasn't got anything.



                                      Instead, he should 1) talk to the person and take a stance on the criticism, or ever 2) reply to everybody.



                                      In both situations they should say/ write something like:




                                      I realize this email has been retracted after being sent, but I couldn't help and read it.




                                      Then the OP should take a fair stance on the criticism, not acting defensively but also not accepting the blame for what wasn't his fault. He should propose a solution how the cooperation between him and the colleague can be made better in the future.



                                      Which should he chose, 1) or 2)? It depends on the situation. We don't have enough details on the political situation in their workplace and their political strength to tell him which solution makes more sense.







                                      share|improve this answer












                                      share|improve this answer



                                      share|improve this answer










                                      answered 10 hours ago









                                      BigMadAndyBigMadAndy

                                      13.5k112362




                                      13.5k112362






























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