Is “he or she” offensive?
I was writing an email and a friend pointed out that I should stop using "he/she" and instead always use "they" to refer to a person of unknown gender, since "he or she" implies there are only two gender, which is very insulting to people who don't identify as either male or female.
I've never heard of anyone being insulted by "he or she". Should I make an effort to change my writing habits, or is my friend wrong?
offensive-language
asked 6 hours ago
user339732user339732
61
New contributor
user339732 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
|
show 3 more comments
I was writing an email and a friend pointed out that I should stop using "he/she" and instead always use "they" to refer to a person of unknown gender, since "he or she" implies there are only two gender, which is very insulting to people who don't identify as either male or female.
I've never heard of anyone being insulted by "he or she". Should I make an effort to change my writing habits, or is my friend wrong?
offensive-language
asked 6 hours ago
user339732user339732
61
New contributor
user339732 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
1
As far as I'm concerned people are either male or female. I haven't even started to think about what to call people who claim neither identification. But I suppose we shall all have to address that point if things carry on as they are doing.
– WS2
6 hours ago
2
There are certainly people who identify as neither male nor female, and the use of they as a gender-neutral singular pronoun is well-established, even if certain grammatical prescriptivists object. However, whether a phrase is generally "offensive" is a question of opinion.
– Benjamin Kuykendall
6 hours ago
2
Any answer to this Q. would be "primarily opinion-based": answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. As such, it does not meet the criteria for Qs on this site.
– TrevorD
6 hours ago
1
I propose using "e" for "he/she", "h" for "him/her", and "s" for "his/hers". Easy to remember!
– Hot Licks
5 hours ago
2
I have never heard a suggestion that "he or she" is offensive, but it is painfully clunky. Especially when the alternative "they" is well established (it is older than singular "you" I think, and no one objects to that nowadays).
– James Random
4 hours ago
|
show 3 more comments
I was writing an email and a friend pointed out that I should stop using "he/she" and instead always use "they" to refer to a person of unknown gender, since "he or she" implies there are only two gender, which is very insulting to people who don't identify as either male or female.
I've never heard of anyone being insulted by "he or she". Should I make an effort to change my writing habits, or is my friend wrong?
offensive-language
asked 6 hours ago
user339732user339732
61
New contributor
user339732 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
I was writing an email and a friend pointed out that I should stop using "he/she" and instead always use "they" to refer to a person of unknown gender, since "he or she" implies there are only two gender, which is very insulting to people who don't identify as either male or female.
I've never heard of anyone being insulted by "he or she". Should I make an effort to change my writing habits, or is my friend wrong?
offensive-language
offensive-language
asked 6 hours ago
user339732user339732
61
New contributor
user339732 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 6 hours ago
user339732user339732
61
New contributor
user339732 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 6 hours ago
user339732user339732
61
New contributor
user339732 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
asked 6 hours ago
user339732user339732
61
asked 6 hours ago
user339732user339732
61
61
New contributor
user339732 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
user339732 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
user339732 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
1
As far as I'm concerned people are either male or female. I haven't even started to think about what to call people who claim neither identification. But I suppose we shall all have to address that point if things carry on as they are doing.
– WS2
6 hours ago
2
There are certainly people who identify as neither male nor female, and the use of they as a gender-neutral singular pronoun is well-established, even if certain grammatical prescriptivists object. However, whether a phrase is generally "offensive" is a question of opinion.
– Benjamin Kuykendall
6 hours ago
2
Any answer to this Q. would be "primarily opinion-based": answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. As such, it does not meet the criteria for Qs on this site.
– TrevorD
6 hours ago
1
I propose using "e" for "he/she", "h" for "him/her", and "s" for "his/hers". Easy to remember!
– Hot Licks
5 hours ago
2
I have never heard a suggestion that "he or she" is offensive, but it is painfully clunky. Especially when the alternative "they" is well established (it is older than singular "you" I think, and no one objects to that nowadays).
– James Random
4 hours ago
|
show 3 more comments
1
As far as I'm concerned people are either male or female. I haven't even started to think about what to call people who claim neither identification. But I suppose we shall all have to address that point if things carry on as they are doing.
– WS2
6 hours ago
2
There are certainly people who identify as neither male nor female, and the use of they as a gender-neutral singular pronoun is well-established, even if certain grammatical prescriptivists object. However, whether a phrase is generally "offensive" is a question of opinion.
– Benjamin Kuykendall
6 hours ago
2
Any answer to this Q. would be "primarily opinion-based": answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. As such, it does not meet the criteria for Qs on this site.
– TrevorD
6 hours ago
1
I propose using "e" for "he/she", "h" for "him/her", and "s" for "his/hers". Easy to remember!
– Hot Licks
5 hours ago
2
I have never heard a suggestion that "he or she" is offensive, but it is painfully clunky. Especially when the alternative "they" is well established (it is older than singular "you" I think, and no one objects to that nowadays).
– James Random
4 hours ago
1
1
As far as I'm concerned people are either male or female. I haven't even started to think about what to call people who claim neither identification. But I suppose we shall all have to address that point if things carry on as they are doing.
– WS2
6 hours ago
As far as I'm concerned people are either male or female. I haven't even started to think about what to call people who claim neither identification. But I suppose we shall all have to address that point if things carry on as they are doing.
– WS2
6 hours ago
2
2
There are certainly people who identify as neither male nor female, and the use of they as a gender-neutral singular pronoun is well-established, even if certain grammatical prescriptivists object. However, whether a phrase is generally "offensive" is a question of opinion.
– Benjamin Kuykendall
6 hours ago
There are certainly people who identify as neither male nor female, and the use of they as a gender-neutral singular pronoun is well-established, even if certain grammatical prescriptivists object. However, whether a phrase is generally "offensive" is a question of opinion.
– Benjamin Kuykendall
6 hours ago
2
2
Any answer to this Q. would be "primarily opinion-based": answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. As such, it does not meet the criteria for Qs on this site.
– TrevorD
6 hours ago
Any answer to this Q. would be "primarily opinion-based": answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. As such, it does not meet the criteria for Qs on this site.
– TrevorD
6 hours ago
1
1
I propose using "e" for "he/she", "h" for "him/her", and "s" for "his/hers". Easy to remember!
– Hot Licks
5 hours ago
I propose using "e" for "he/she", "h" for "him/her", and "s" for "his/hers". Easy to remember!
– Hot Licks
5 hours ago
2
2
I have never heard a suggestion that "he or she" is offensive, but it is painfully clunky. Especially when the alternative "they" is well established (it is older than singular "you" I think, and no one objects to that nowadays).
– James Random
4 hours ago
I have never heard a suggestion that "he or she" is offensive, but it is painfully clunky. Especially when the alternative "they" is well established (it is older than singular "you" I think, and no one objects to that nowadays).
– James Random
4 hours ago
|
show 3 more comments
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
I'm a grammarian pedant by nature, I'm in my very late 40's, male, cis-gendered and so on.
That said: the force gendered he or she has been a construction to avoid in technical writing for quite some time. It's not necessarily offensive per se, it's just uninclusive and clumsy.
They as a pronoun is not incredibly new, it's been brewing and in use for some time, and is in fact in pretty broad use: it's most typically the accepted pronoun of either non-gender-binary folks or some who effectively decline-to-state.
The context in which a he or she can be directly offensive is if a given individual or group has informed one of their preferred pronoun, and one is explicitly ignoring said preference, and forcing a he or she upon said individual or group unwanted, whether that be due to one's inner grammarian pedant, one's political views or even just plain cussedness.
To re-iterate my earlier point: in general writing, technical writing etc, it's been long been considered poor practise to gender language unnecessarily.
answered 4 hours ago
GerardFallaGerardFalla
771111
1
From a legal writing perspective, using "he/his/him" for all persons of unknown gender, and stating that the masculine pronoun includes all genders, is the best solution. A legal document must above all else do something, and avoiding microaggressions entails the kind of multitasking that makes people stupid. "They" does not work, because it is ambiguous in number, leaving context to bail out imprecise drafting. That's just bad practice. The masculine pronouns are easy to read and easy to understand. If I were king, the masculine pronouns would be universalized, and that would be that.
– remarkl
3 hours ago
add a comment |
Your Answer
StackExchange.ready(function() {
var channelOptions = {
tags: "".split(" "),
id: "97"
};
initTagRenderer("".split(" "), "".split(" "), channelOptions);
StackExchange.using("externalEditor", function() {
// Have to fire editor after snippets, if snippets enabled
if (StackExchange.settings.snippets.snippetsEnabled) {
StackExchange.using("snippets", function() {
createEditor();
});
}
else {
createEditor();
}
});
function createEditor() {
StackExchange.prepareEditor({
heartbeatType: 'answer',
autoActivateHeartbeat: false,
convertImagesToLinks: false,
noModals: true,
showLowRepImageUploadWarning: true,
reputationToPostImages: null,
bindNavPrevention: true,
postfix: "",
imageUploader: {
brandingHtml: "Powered by u003ca class="icon-imgur-white" href="https://imgur.com/"u003eu003c/au003e",
contentPolicyHtml: "User contributions licensed under u003ca href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/"u003ecc by-sa 3.0 with attribution requiredu003c/au003e u003ca href="https://stackoverflow.com/legal/content-policy"u003e(content policy)u003c/au003e",
allowUrls: true
},
noCode: true, onDemand: true,
discardSelector: ".discard-answer"
,immediatelyShowMarkdownHelp:true
});
}
});
user339732 is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
StackExchange.ready(
function () {
StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fenglish.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f489243%2fis-he-or-she-offensive%23new-answer', 'question_page');
}
);
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
I'm a grammarian pedant by nature, I'm in my very late 40's, male, cis-gendered and so on.
That said: the force gendered he or she has been a construction to avoid in technical writing for quite some time. It's not necessarily offensive per se, it's just uninclusive and clumsy.
They as a pronoun is not incredibly new, it's been brewing and in use for some time, and is in fact in pretty broad use: it's most typically the accepted pronoun of either non-gender-binary folks or some who effectively decline-to-state.
The context in which a he or she can be directly offensive is if a given individual or group has informed one of their preferred pronoun, and one is explicitly ignoring said preference, and forcing a he or she upon said individual or group unwanted, whether that be due to one's inner grammarian pedant, one's political views or even just plain cussedness.
To re-iterate my earlier point: in general writing, technical writing etc, it's been long been considered poor practise to gender language unnecessarily.
answered 4 hours ago
GerardFallaGerardFalla
771111
1
From a legal writing perspective, using "he/his/him" for all persons of unknown gender, and stating that the masculine pronoun includes all genders, is the best solution. A legal document must above all else do something, and avoiding microaggressions entails the kind of multitasking that makes people stupid. "They" does not work, because it is ambiguous in number, leaving context to bail out imprecise drafting. That's just bad practice. The masculine pronouns are easy to read and easy to understand. If I were king, the masculine pronouns would be universalized, and that would be that.
– remarkl
3 hours ago
add a comment |
I'm a grammarian pedant by nature, I'm in my very late 40's, male, cis-gendered and so on.
That said: the force gendered he or she has been a construction to avoid in technical writing for quite some time. It's not necessarily offensive per se, it's just uninclusive and clumsy.
They as a pronoun is not incredibly new, it's been brewing and in use for some time, and is in fact in pretty broad use: it's most typically the accepted pronoun of either non-gender-binary folks or some who effectively decline-to-state.
The context in which a he or she can be directly offensive is if a given individual or group has informed one of their preferred pronoun, and one is explicitly ignoring said preference, and forcing a he or she upon said individual or group unwanted, whether that be due to one's inner grammarian pedant, one's political views or even just plain cussedness.
To re-iterate my earlier point: in general writing, technical writing etc, it's been long been considered poor practise to gender language unnecessarily.
answered 4 hours ago
GerardFallaGerardFalla
771111
1
From a legal writing perspective, using "he/his/him" for all persons of unknown gender, and stating that the masculine pronoun includes all genders, is the best solution. A legal document must above all else do something, and avoiding microaggressions entails the kind of multitasking that makes people stupid. "They" does not work, because it is ambiguous in number, leaving context to bail out imprecise drafting. That's just bad practice. The masculine pronouns are easy to read and easy to understand. If I were king, the masculine pronouns would be universalized, and that would be that.
– remarkl
3 hours ago
add a comment |
I'm a grammarian pedant by nature, I'm in my very late 40's, male, cis-gendered and so on.
That said: the force gendered he or she has been a construction to avoid in technical writing for quite some time. It's not necessarily offensive per se, it's just uninclusive and clumsy.
They as a pronoun is not incredibly new, it's been brewing and in use for some time, and is in fact in pretty broad use: it's most typically the accepted pronoun of either non-gender-binary folks or some who effectively decline-to-state.
The context in which a he or she can be directly offensive is if a given individual or group has informed one of their preferred pronoun, and one is explicitly ignoring said preference, and forcing a he or she upon said individual or group unwanted, whether that be due to one's inner grammarian pedant, one's political views or even just plain cussedness.
To re-iterate my earlier point: in general writing, technical writing etc, it's been long been considered poor practise to gender language unnecessarily.
answered 4 hours ago
GerardFallaGerardFalla
771111
I'm a grammarian pedant by nature, I'm in my very late 40's, male, cis-gendered and so on.
That said: the force gendered he or she has been a construction to avoid in technical writing for quite some time. It's not necessarily offensive per se, it's just uninclusive and clumsy.
They as a pronoun is not incredibly new, it's been brewing and in use for some time, and is in fact in pretty broad use: it's most typically the accepted pronoun of either non-gender-binary folks or some who effectively decline-to-state.
The context in which a he or she can be directly offensive is if a given individual or group has informed one of their preferred pronoun, and one is explicitly ignoring said preference, and forcing a he or she upon said individual or group unwanted, whether that be due to one's inner grammarian pedant, one's political views or even just plain cussedness.
To re-iterate my earlier point: in general writing, technical writing etc, it's been long been considered poor practise to gender language unnecessarily.
answered 4 hours ago
GerardFallaGerardFalla
771111
answered 4 hours ago
GerardFallaGerardFalla
771111
answered 4 hours ago
GerardFallaGerardFalla
771111
answered 4 hours ago
GerardFallaGerardFalla
771111
771111
1
From a legal writing perspective, using "he/his/him" for all persons of unknown gender, and stating that the masculine pronoun includes all genders, is the best solution. A legal document must above all else do something, and avoiding microaggressions entails the kind of multitasking that makes people stupid. "They" does not work, because it is ambiguous in number, leaving context to bail out imprecise drafting. That's just bad practice. The masculine pronouns are easy to read and easy to understand. If I were king, the masculine pronouns would be universalized, and that would be that.
– remarkl
3 hours ago
add a comment |
1
From a legal writing perspective, using "he/his/him" for all persons of unknown gender, and stating that the masculine pronoun includes all genders, is the best solution. A legal document must above all else do something, and avoiding microaggressions entails the kind of multitasking that makes people stupid. "They" does not work, because it is ambiguous in number, leaving context to bail out imprecise drafting. That's just bad practice. The masculine pronouns are easy to read and easy to understand. If I were king, the masculine pronouns would be universalized, and that would be that.
– remarkl
3 hours ago
1
1
From a legal writing perspective, using "he/his/him" for all persons of unknown gender, and stating that the masculine pronoun includes all genders, is the best solution. A legal document must above all else do something, and avoiding microaggressions entails the kind of multitasking that makes people stupid. "They" does not work, because it is ambiguous in number, leaving context to bail out imprecise drafting. That's just bad practice. The masculine pronouns are easy to read and easy to understand. If I were king, the masculine pronouns would be universalized, and that would be that.
– remarkl
3 hours ago
From a legal writing perspective, using "he/his/him" for all persons of unknown gender, and stating that the masculine pronoun includes all genders, is the best solution. A legal document must above all else do something, and avoiding microaggressions entails the kind of multitasking that makes people stupid. "They" does not work, because it is ambiguous in number, leaving context to bail out imprecise drafting. That's just bad practice. The masculine pronouns are easy to read and easy to understand. If I were king, the masculine pronouns would be universalized, and that would be that.
– remarkl
3 hours ago
add a comment |
user339732 is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
user339732 is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
user339732 is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
user339732 is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Thanks for contributing an answer to English Language & Usage Stack Exchange!
- Please be sure to answer the question. Provide details and share your research!
But avoid …
- Asking for help, clarification, or responding to other answers.
- Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience.
To learn more, see our tips on writing great answers.
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
StackExchange.ready(
function () {
StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fenglish.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f489243%2fis-he-or-she-offensive%23new-answer', 'question_page');
}
);
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
1
As far as I'm concerned people are either male or female. I haven't even started to think about what to call people who claim neither identification. But I suppose we shall all have to address that point if things carry on as they are doing.
– WS2
6 hours ago
2
There are certainly people who identify as neither male nor female, and the use of they as a gender-neutral singular pronoun is well-established, even if certain grammatical prescriptivists object. However, whether a phrase is generally "offensive" is a question of opinion.
– Benjamin Kuykendall
6 hours ago
2
Any answer to this Q. would be "primarily opinion-based": answers to this question will tend to be almost entirely based on opinions, rather than facts, references, or specific expertise. As such, it does not meet the criteria for Qs on this site.
– TrevorD
6 hours ago
1
I propose using "e" for "he/she", "h" for "him/her", and "s" for "his/hers". Easy to remember!
– Hot Licks
5 hours ago
2
I have never heard a suggestion that "he or she" is offensive, but it is painfully clunky. Especially when the alternative "they" is well established (it is older than singular "you" I think, and no one objects to that nowadays).
– James Random
4 hours ago