Argthtjtr

While turning around in an exit interview and saying you're leaving because your new manager is an arse may seem like a good idea (been there, done that), it doesn't achieve anything when said directly.

The question why are you leaving is for them to get feedback on why employees leave, not for you to justify why you're leaving. You could turn around and say "No reason" and that would be perfectly fine, they aren't going to block the doors.

In my case, as mentioned above, I spoke out very candidly about the manager that was causing me to quit. I knew, between other colleagues, that others would be quitting because of him in the future too. I'll blank out the harsh language, but here's how that conversation went:

Manager: Why are you leaving?

Me: Because [other manager] is a condescending [swear word]. He gets aggressive, talks down to you and sets you up to fail, all the while gaslighting you into thinking it's your fault you're being screamed at. I have more self respect than to be spoken to that way.

Manager: Okay thanks...

Next day at 9:03 I get pulled into the meeting room and told that I'm being sent on garden leave because I'm a disruption to other employees.

This is relevant to you because I spoke out that way to try to change the [other manager] so it didn't affect other employees and everyone could just carry on a little bit happier.

Want to know what happened?

The employees quit, the manager never changed, and I burnt a bridge and don't have a reference from that company. Explaining all that in interviews for the following 2 weeks wasn't fun, nor was it worth it.

If you want my advice, just say something canned ("I'm looking for other opportunities" etc) and move on. You'll get a solid reference from them, have a few years experience on your CV and be fine.

You don't have to say anything in that interview and a few canned responses ("looking for new opportunities", "want to grow professionally", "in search of new challenges") will do to not appear unhelpful.

You are right, a judgement like "is a jerk" especially without facts to support it is not helpful at all. HR will just dismiss it. If you say your new manager is a jerk, HR will have no other choice than to dismiss it. Because there is nothing actionable they could do about it. Some people just don't get along. That happens and nothing they could do will ever change that with every hire they make.

So cut out the judgement. Just tell what happened. Don't pass blame. Since the new manager took over, the team spirit shifted and you felt you were no longer included. Prepare a few examples where you think it's the managers fault, but only tell the story, leave out all judgement about who should have done what. Let them reach a judgment about whose fault that might be. If they still think their new hire is great, no harm done. You did not blame him. Maybe they have doubts now? Great, mission accomplished.

Do you care about your co-workers? Do they share your sentiment about the new manager? If so, be honest at the leave interview. I worked at Google many years ago and ended up in the same situation which lead to me leaving the company.

When HR asked why I quit I told them about my manager. Six months later he was fired. I also told a couple of my co-workers about my interview with HR so after a while my whole team learned about it. Most people on my team were grateful to me for "fixing" this boss and I still have a good and active relationship with many of my them. In fact, I think that the fact that I helped them getting rid of this boss has landed me at least two job offerings since then.

Either be non-responsive as others have suggested, or damn them with faint praise.

I have nothing bad to say about this company, I very much enjoyed the time I was here and working with [former manager] and under his leadership the team was tight and cohesive.

or

While I have enjoyed good working relationships with my team and my management in the past, I feel it is time to move on.

or

I cannot say enough good things about [Former Manager]

and simply do not say one word about current manager or his performance. If pressed, use neutral sounding things that will get the point across, but not sound insulting on paper.

[New manager] had big shoes to fill after [Old manager] left.

or

[New manager] has a unique management style.

In other words, by deliberately avoiding saying anything about him, praising your last manager, and leaving this immense whole of data, they'll get the message.

Bear in mind that you can have the official interview, but also have a quiet chat as well.

The exact approach will depend on your relationships and the approachability of the Big Bosses.

Your former manager is already or is becoming a Big Boss.

Reach out to him. Thank him for the leadership he showed to you. You might be able to ask him to talk through this problem with you. Certainly being pro-active here helps you get the reference you want. You show this guy you are aligned with his values, and that will resonate with him.

I can tell you :

• Leadership will not know this person is a problem unless they are told.


• The rest of the team are being taught that being a jerk is OK.


• Even the new manager may not realise he is a jerk;you might be doing him a favour.

Toxic workplaces need people to speak out. Find a way to do this if you can.

One sentence: Discuss it with your previous manager.

Because

1. You respect their judgement.


2. They know the environment.


3. They may be able to alert the right people higher up to a disaster in the making. The company don't want to lose you after all this time.


4. They know you and your foibles.


5. They may know of an opportunity for promotion, if only sideways.


6. If everything goes wrong they'll understand and give you a good reference.

your team leader's boss, hates your guts for reasons outside your
control (think stuff like having kids, being "of the wrong
race/nationality", etc)

That's unfortunate. And in my opinion you cannot guarantee a positive reference by lying. This type of logic hopes the company "plays nice" since you've "played nice". That's not the same as a guarantee. Many of the answers here insinuate a guarantee of sorts if you give an inaccurate answer during your exit interview. Not true. If your racist/intimidating boss and coworkers provide any input for future referrals then there really are no guarantees.

It's a common saying that "there are no guarantees in life". And life can be very unfair. I think this describes your exact situation. For example, you could indeed lie about the real reason for quitting and still get a negative referral. Different reasons could be provided for the negative referral, such as any of the various conflicts and negative interactions they had with you that serve their memory. They could say "nobody liked you." or "he was hard to get along with" or "he didn't work well with us." Which is all the truth according to you. Insulting managers and coworkers do not stop perceiving you negatively merely because you decided to leave.

The exit interview is designed to give you an opportunity to address problems in the company so that the company can correct them in the future. If it is done by HR, then there is a good chance the interview is confidential, so verify this in advance by asking them- this may circumvent most if not all of the issues you are worried about.

If you want to tell the truth then back up the allegations with as much evidence as possible. Without evidence an allegation is hard to prove and requires a lot of explaining on your part. Any evidence should speak for itself. Also- if the exit interview is not private- see if you can set up a private meeting with HR. Provide copies of all emails, recorded conversations, post-it notes, etc. displaying the racism or inappropriate behavior- and give these to HR during your meeting or exit interview. If the interactions are being spoken to you- record them with your cellphone (in your pocket for example) and let HR listen to these recordings. The more evidence the better. The less evidence, the more you have to talk to HR to prove the allegations, which for emotionally charged events can be hard for someone to do. Documented evidence of racist or bullying behavior should really speak for itself however.

If you can't provide any evidence then giving a different reason is an option as you've suggested. But it's passive-aggressive, essentially the intent is to "play nice" hoping the company "plays nice back". But this doesn't make any logical conclusion since they've been bullying you. It doesn't ensure a positive reference in the future. If they provide a negative reference anyway- then you've lost your opportunity to defend yourself during the exit interview. So, the ideal answer is to document everything you can and tell the truth.

You have the completely wrong idea. If you don't tell your company that your new manager is a prick with no redeeming qualities, then they can't do anything for you or your team if they don't want you to leave. They also won't figure out that the manager is costing them employees.

Like it or not, getting stuff done at work is a team game. You need to make decisions that benefit the team here. You also need to realize that telling the truth has one distinct advantage. Telling the truth proves your adherence to honesty and your moral values. That's something that will sound really good in your next interview. "I'm very honest" is one of the best answers to "What's your greatest weakness?". You'll have proof too because when they call your manager/old company they'll hear exactly why you left.

You should probably tell your manager why you're leaving too. You don't really get anything moving forward if you just make some weak generic excuse in an attempt to make a clean break. Your manager is going to say bad things about you anyway. You might as well get a jump start at trying to explain them away. A bad review and a reason for the bad review is a much better starting place for seeking re-hire than a bad review alone. Your manager doesn't like you so you're getting a bad review when you leave either way.

The final thing I want to mention here is that since your company is big they can just move you to a different team. They can't offer to change your manager for you if you give them some generic excuse for leaving. If the rest of your team mysteriously leaves too then they really won't know why till your manager really makes a mistake either. Your company could lose an entire team over this because you didn't say anything.

Don't worry about pissing anyone off. It's not going to matter and in the end it's going to have virtually the same effect on your career as kissing their ass.

(This isn't strictly answering the question, but…)

Is there any possibility for moving to another team within the company?  Big companies can often be quite flexible, and you'd retain your familiarity with the business, culture, and people.

Of course, sometimes it's time to move on, and that can have advantages too.  But it's good to consider all the options.

Otherwise, I think I'd try to compromise between some of the other answers, and in the exit interview tell as much of the truth as you can, in a way which doesn't sound personal or burn any bridges.  (E.g. “I no longer feel part of the team, as I did under [previous manager].” or “The team culture changed after [previous manager] left.” or “I particularly enjoyed working with [previous manager], and it wasn't the same after they left.”)

1) Big companies as a matter of course tend not to give official recommendations. So not saying "my boss was a jerk" is not going to give you more or less points in the future. Either way, HR will confirm to your next employer your dates of employment and your job title, and that's it.

2) Saying "my boss is a jerk" is not particularly useful. However, explaining why he is a jerk is useful. Don't use loaded language (e.g. "my boss is a jerk"); instead explain things that happened (e.g. "my boss said XYZ"). If you have written proof (emails, screenshots of IM conversations, etc) that helps but is not strictly necessary; you're leaving anyway, you're not expecting any sort of recompense and nor will they give you any. Your "case", such as it is, will not go any better or worse whether you are using hearsay or actual evidence.

3) HR probably will not care what you have to say, because an exit interview is more or less a formality anyway. However, if you really like the company, I would feel it was my responsibility to help the company succeed even if I was leaving, and a manager who drives people to quit is not helping the company, and HR should know that. Then if more people from your team quit, citing that manager, then HR will eventually have to act, as this manager is causing them to lose talent. I would go so far as to say that it is your responsibility to tell HR you are leaving because your manager is a jerk (see point 2 for precisely what to say), and saying anything else is a disservice.

What you do may last with you for a long time. How important is it to get things off your chest?

My recommendation would be to leave, for a better opportunity, and so on. If, after you left, you still have the irresistible urge, use a vehicle like Glassdoor to express your concerns in a manner that management might hear them.

There is no need to be destructive to yourself or others. Things happen, and sometimes the universe mis-aligns.

Jobs center around the human element, and sometimes the chemistry doesn't work out. You are for whatever reason persona non grata, and trying to attribute blame, in the situation you describe is not likely to be a winning event. People leave jobs all the time because they find something different, or interesting, or for more money or whatever. When you resign, give them a positive reason. But before then, get a positive attitude so that you can find your next job.