I would simply ask

It looks like you have hurt yourself. Are you OK?

If he is a respected colleague, I don’t think they would get uncomfortable with that.

It is possible they may get this question all day but ignoring it seems even more rude to me. If they are not comfortable discussing this, they may just brush it off or depending on your relationship talk more about it.

Asking about it may just make them feel better that you care and it is worth taking the risk of having a possible uncomfortable moment.

Completely ignore it... Carry on with your work. If they don't bring it up then don't mention it. This is the safe option which you won't harm anyone nor will it affect them.

However if they do mention their black eye, say something like

Oh yeah, what happened with that by the way? (if you don't mind me asking)

Otherwise assume they don't want to talk about it and leave it at that.

You obviously both know it's there but if your colleague does not want to talk about it they will not mention it. Avoid getting into the unwanted conversation.

There are two keys to this business communications situation.

The two keys are:

1. It's actually unrealistic to "pretend to ignore it".

If you stand in the elevator "pretending to ignore" such a remarkable thing, you're actually making it a big issue.

You're signaling that it is a dramatic issue, which people will gossip about, which is so "unusual!" it warrants exceptional handling; you are enlarging the issue.

2. Make it a passing matter, as "small a deal" as possible. The opposite of a big deal.

Simply ask as briefly as possible what happened - and then drop it.

In English, use the obvious short formulaic phrases: "Oh, what happened, you're OK?" or "That must have hurt, how'd you do it?" As soon as the person answers, return a one-word pleasantry and move right on to business of the day.

Understand that formulaic communications are a mainstay of human existence, they are incredibly reassuring. This is the very nature of politeness.

It's absolutely key in business situations to be able to deal with and then completely set aside personal issues.

This interesting example illuminates some critical aspects of communications in the workplace.

I would suggest you get one chance at an immediate reaction, when you first see the colleague, and it should not include the slightest hint of asking what happened:

• wow, that looks painful, poor you!


• oh my, are you ok to work today?


• ow, you ok?

Not "I bet there's a story behind that!" or "looks like you had an interesting weekend!" or anything like that.

If the colleague wants to talk about it, they can, as easily as "I'm fine, thanks - skied right into a tree, can you believe it?" sort of thing.

If you "missed your window" to say something sympathetic, you'll get one more window the next time you see them alone. Here you want to explicitly mention that you avoided the personal topic before this for reasons of discretion (as though somehow nobody else would notice if you just don't mention it) by lowering your tone and perhaps starting with "now that it's just us two,"

• sorry if everyone's saying this, but your face - that looks painful. Anything I can do to help out?


• let me know if you need the lighting changed or anything because of your eye, eh?


• hope that heals fast, bud, and that it looks worse than it feels

Again not even a touch of wanting to know what happened. Just practical offers or expressions of well-wishing. Bringing the topic up allows for any conversation the colleague wants, but not asking or even hinting makes it easy for them to just thank you for what you explicitly said and take the subject no further.

It depends on the culture.

I'm in Western Europe. In my country it would be strange not to ask the colleague if he's ok. Then, of course, you shouldn't ask too many questions about what happened unless the colleague volunteers this info. But not asking about it would be super strange, unless he's your boss or boss's boss or you hardly know each other (even in this first situation it would be ok if you know each other for some time).

However, I assume the expected behavior e.g. in the US may be different, more in the vein of "never talk about other people's looks".

I disagree with the "completely ignore it" approach. You know it's there, he knows you know it's there. You end up with some weird limbo vibe. You're not going to act natural pretending it's not there and the energy/vibe will be picked up be others and the person in question.

I also dont think you should go into it too deep as the context might be sensitive and/or not for work. I would let him know you're seen it and leave it at that unless the person starts the convo himself. E.g.:

• *point at your eye* "Ouch". (he could simply answer "indeed")


• You OK? ( he can answer with "jup.", which means he doesnt want to talk)

It takes the weird out of the situation.

Twyxz's suggestion, to completely ignore the black eye, is a good one, especially if you don't know the coworker very well. I do want to propose an alternative that could work for someone you have more of a friendly relationship with.

You can bring it up, but do so in a way that doesn't pressure your colleague to share any details if they don't want to. One option is to mention the bruise without asking how they got it.

Ouch, that looks like it hurt!

This is open ended enough that they can respond with as many or as few details as they like. If they just say "Yeah, I'm hoping this goes away quickly," then don't press for more information.

Another option is to ask about it in a humorous way, similar to this answer on the question you linked:

You know when they tell you to "Keep your eye on the ball," they don't mean it literally, right?

or even to the completely absurd,

Let me guess, wrestling grizzly bears again?

Since you weren't told what happened, it should be obvious that you're joking. Your coworker can also respond with a joke, or they can choose to tell you what really happened. It's completely up to them. Keep in mind I would really only use this approach if I knew the coworker well enough to joke with them.

So if you do decide to bring up the black eye somehow, the most important part is to make sure you colleague has an out and doesn't feel they have to share any more information than they want to.

I started my first graduate job on day 5 with a black/scabbed eye after a mountain bike fall on my face.

A lot of people who I worked with asked about it and joked about getting in a fight / looked hungover (as i wore sunglasses and a plaster on my face) while everyone else just kindly ignored my looks.

The professional thing is to ignore or lightly joke / comment about the injury without too much discourse. They may be uncomfortable about their new temporary facial feature And the attention it brings as it's nothing they can hide, but also not have it be an elephant in the room.

The question lightly brushes on interpersonal skills as well as workplace etiquette and will be depending on the person, company and your relationship with the person.

What is the professional and appropriate reaction to a not-so-close, but friendly colleague with a black eye?

It is really up to you.

You have two good choices: you can ignore it, or you can say something.

There are good answers here that defend both of these positions.

If you decide to say something... since you don't talk about your personal lives... you probably should not say "What happened?" or anything else that implies that they owe you any details.

Just think about it and decide what you want to do.

I would probably say "You okay?"

They can politely respond with "Yes" and give no details. Pretend it isn't there.

They can politely respond with "Yes" and give details, maybe you can respond.

If they say, "No" you can offer to help.

If they say, "No, but I will be" say "Let me know if I can help" and drop it.

Slightly different perspective, but personally, I wouldn't want anyone to mention it. We'ere here to do a job, unless it's affecting my performance it's not relevant. There are many reasons why we would sustain physical injury outside the workplace. Maybe a wild night, maybe a sport, maybe you enjoy pain.. whatever the reason, that's your business and no one else's. The best course of action is to say nothing and focus on the job.

That's why you're there. It's why everyone is being paid. Harm comes to people all the time and in different forms. In general, I trust people's judgement. If they're at work with a black eye, it's likely not so serious they can't work.

If they're not talking about it, it's because they don't want to talk about it. That's clear enough. Personally, I think mentioning it, is more about other people than the person who sustained the injury. They know their hurt, they know you know. Why do YOU need to say something? For me, it's just people being nosy.

Personally, I would prefer people just keep to themselves. We're not here to be friends, we're here to work.